#<- has gotten like 6 hours of sleep in the past 4 days total
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pendraegon · 2 years ago
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all my stuff is FINALLY moved out of my apartment, got another package shipped off halfway across the country juuuust in time, my flight back home is on monday, literally i can almost fucking taste lake michigan babeyyyyyyy
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suitcasescalling · 1 year ago
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5 Miles, 13 Locks, 6 Hours
Have you ever heard of a “slow boat to China”? It was probably a narrowboat.
I’m not complaining, actually. I like the slower pace to just look around, observe the landscape, spot a heron or two, notice the shape of the bow waves. A narrowboat maxes out at about 4 mph. We’ve been going more like 1 or 2 mph, in part because ours is a maximum length (70’) boat and in part because we’re so brand new to this. So, lots of time to notice how the trees reflect in the still surface of the canal.
We’ve divided quite naturally into two teams. Jeff and Patricia are captain and first mate, respectively, and totally in charge of driving the boat. They’ve both got decades of sailing experience, which helps, though this behemoth handles differently than a sailboat. Ben and I are the lock jockeys, which means we’re the ones getting off the boat at every lock. Physically moving the gates and raising/lowering the panels that control the water.
The gates are heavy but well-designed. Sometimes we can move them with our arms, sometimes we have to back up to them and push with our butts/legs. The levers to raise and lower the water panels inside the gates are usually more work. Sometimes, just like the gates, they’re an easy winch (we have special winch handles for this work). Sometimes it takes a lot of back and arm power.
The massage career helps. The best force comes from your legs, not your arms. I change my stance almost instinctively now when I find myself needing more oomph from my legs to support my arms and back.
We had chilly and sunny weather yesterday, which was a gift. We all managed to even get a little sun on our faces without realizing it till we went out to dinner. Imagine, going to England in April and getting a tan!
While Ben and I work well as lock jockeys, 13 locks was way too many! One lock isn’t bad at all but the effort accumulates. I was tired and a little spacey by lock 13. We’ve only got 6 locks today and we’re already through them so I can relax a little.
I haven’t gotten to do as much walking on the towpath as I expected. Ben and I have walked the towpath when we suspected the locks weren’t very far apart but otherwise we’ve stayed on the boat.
It’s not quite the vacation I envisioned but since we’ve never actually done this before, it was unlikely to completely match my imagination.
My “single” bed is more like a bench with a mattress. I have to turn over completely in place because there is literally no room to move left or right. I’ve managed OK after the first night. The nights have been cold (30s) so that big fluffy comforter, which looked silly on such a narrow bed, has been just right.
“Narrow” is not wrong. We literally can’t pass each other in the passageways. Someone has to step into the nearest bathroom so the other can pass. It’s sort of the boat equivalent of driving those narrow country lanes.
We moored last night along a quiet stretch of the canal just past the pub where we had dinner. It was so lovely, so green, and so peaceful. That was much closer to what I imagined. It was a very peaceful night of sleep.
Today our goal is a marina in Stourbridge. It’s an “admin” afternoon. Fill up the boat water tanks. Laundry. Groceries. A bookstore if we can find one for Ben. A postbox for me for some postcards. A shower (really no point in showering every day on a boat to be honest) We have to decide where we’re going from here. The original plan was to motor into Birmingham but that requires *26* locks and … no. So we may be going back over the route we’ve already covered to try a new section of canal. That will be the conversation at dinner tonight.
I may be posting fewer pictures. After a while, one section of canal looks like another. One field of sheep / horses looks like another. But as I’m able, I’ll keep writing.
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eveningstar1516 · 3 years ago
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Rise of the Demon King ~ Chapter 8
Rise of the Demon King
Fic: Multi Chapter Paring: MC x Everyone (Mostly Lucifer) Type: Angst with a Happy Ending Total Word Count: 26,758 TW: Major Character Death, Reader gets stabbed with a sword through their chest so..., Abusive Parents, Past Child Abuse, Demon Hunters, Loss of Control Summary: You’ve done it. You’ve finally done it. You’ve managed to anger the demon king. Now you hold your head high as he hands down your sentence. AO3 Portal: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065362
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Previously:
His brothers would always know whenever he went to see her as he’d always come back with a content smile on his face. Deep down, he wished that Y/N could’ve met Cynthia. They would have made great friends as they were the only 2 people who could make him smile like this. Mammon may not have been able to save Y/N, but he swore that he would protect Cynthia, no matter the cost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER 8 - The Great Pancake Debate (2261 words)
It’s been almost 6 months since you arrived in the Celestial Realm. Needless to say, you are quite certain that these last 6 months have been the craziest and stressful months of your life! When you told Simeon and Luke about you staying here, to say they were ecstatic would be an understatement. Luke jumped for joy and wouldn’t stop rambling about all the fun you were going to have. When you told them about God appointing them to help teach you about the Realm, Luke practically did a double take and it took an hour to calm him. Now you have Simeon teaching you about politics and Luke about how to use your wings and powers. On your second day there, Michael woke you up, or well came to get you as you didn’t get any sleep. Turns out, while the Devildom is constant at night, the Celestial realm is constant day and thanks to the floor to ceiling windows, there was no way for you to stop sunlight from coming in. You were introduced to the council at breakfast. Note to self, the brothers breakfasts are QUIET AND PEACEFUL compared to Archangels off duty. The first thing you saw were 2 angels passionately arguing over which pancake topping was the best, strawberries or blueberries. At some point a third angel cut in claiming chocolate chips were the best and all heaven (would you replace hell with heaven here? idk) broke loose. As for me, I just started chuckling in disbelief while making my way over to pick up a pancake of my own when the angel arguing on behalf of the strawberries saw you.
“Hey kid, what topping do you prefer, strawberries, blueberries, or chocolate chips? It’s strawberries right?”
“Actually, I prefer them plain with maple syrup. Although if Satan was the one making it, I’d go for the one with poison berries. Contrary to their name, they’re not actually poisonous and quite sweet.” All the angels present looked at me with a mix of shock and disbelief, save for Michael who just sat there eating his breakfast hoping to leave soon and get to work.
“Kid, did you say Satan?” The angel arguing on behalf of blueberries asked. “Yeah… Blond hair, teal eyes, Avatar of Wrath, Luci’s son? Ring a bell?” Turning to Michael, blueberry angel asked,
“Micheal, who are they and why are they wearing Lucifer’s old get up?” “This is Y/N. They will be staying here and taking Samael’s spot on the council until their agreement with Father ends and they return to the Devildom. Father has asked us to teach them about how our Realm operates and how to successfully fulfill Samael’s former position flawlessly, unless they want to return now and leave heaven early?” Michael turned towards you with a smirk on his face as he asked the last part.
“Very funny Mike. You and I both know I won’t do that no matter how bad you want me to.”
“What did I say about calling me that?!” Micheal’s smirk turned into something short of a snarl.
“Well, if you won’t take me seriously, neither will I. You want me to call you by your name, earn it and stop being an butt… I meant an butt… Why can’t I swear?!”
“This is the Celestial Realm Y/N. Angels don’t swear.” Michael said smugly over the rim of his cup of coffee.
“God Dang it! Argh! Fudge!. Dang it! Ya know what, forget it, my entire mood is ruined. Thanks Michael!”
“Anytime.”
Shooting Michael one last glare, I sighed and turned to the rest of the baffled angels in the room.
“Yes, what Michael said is true. Stuff happened in the Devildom which I will not get in too-”
“The demon king made Samael kill them.”
“Ok, Mike, first off, he didn’t, I ordered him too, second, I thought I said I didn’t want to talk about it. What gives you the right to tell them huh?”
“I felt like it.”
“You son of a beach.” I turned back to the rest of the angels. “Not a word about it. Anyway, due to some personal issues, I made a deal with Father to stay here on the condition that I take over Lucifer’s spot on the council until he either kicks me out or until our agreement has ended.”
“If I may, when will this agreement of yours be over?” The blueberry angel asked.
“I will be returning to the Devildom once Lord Diavolo has been crowned king and his father is 100% out of the picture. Now if you don’t mind me asking, could you introduce yourselves?” “Oh how rude of us, I’m sorry, I am Gabriel.” Gabriel had chestnut brown medium length hair, reaching shoulders. His eyes were a dull green. He wore a white turtleneck and had a light green shawl with golden tassels. He pointed to the strawberry angel. “This is Raphael and he’s Uriel.” He pointed to the chocolate chip angel. Raphael had long reddish-orange hair put up in a high ponytail. His eyes were a stormy gray. He wore a simple light gray half sleeve with an off the shoulder white cape and little decor. Uriel had short gray hair and golden eyes that almost seemed to sparkle. He wore something that reminded you of an off white scholar's robe with gray accents. “These are Saraqael, and Raguel.” He pointed to 2 of the quieter angels who didn’t participate in “the great pancake debate”. “We make up the Archangel council and we’re happy to have you Y/N.” Gabriel finished off with a smile. You were just barely able to make out a little “Not all of us” from Michael. You decided to ignore it, and then, like all the decisions you’ve ever made, it was the wrong one. Sitting back down you asked,
“So, quick question. What started The Great Pancake Topping debate?”
.
.
.
.
Breakfast ended 2 hours later with upset angels, and pancakes, everywhere…
In the Devildom. After they lost Y/N
Levi went straight to his room as soon as they got home. As soon as he closed and locked the door he went straight to Henry’s fishbowl, picked it up and sat in his bathtub, hugging the bowl as he cried. ‘Why do I feel like this?! I only like 2D characters and Ruri-chan, not 3D people. How do I miss them?... Why did they leave me? They were my player 2.’ “Well it makes sense, no one would want to stay with a worthless shut in of an otaku like me” he said to the empty room. Henry 2.0 glubbed a bubble in response. “You wouldn’t leave me, would you Henry?” *Glub* “No you wouldn’t… I miss them.” Levi stayed in his tub hugging Henry 2.0 until he fell asleep.
Present
It was another late night, Levi was bingeing a new anime ‘I fell in love with a 3D girl but I’m afraid she’ll leave me after finding out that I’m an otaku who rarely leaves their room’ . He was halfway through the 9th episode when he got a notification from Mononoke Island. One of his raid mates was stuck and needed some help. He paused his marathon to help his fellow mate and stayed up until the early hours of the morning switching between playing Mononoke and watching his anime. Stumbling into the dining room for breakfast the next morning, he was met with complete silence. Lucifer had left early, Belphie was asleep, Beel was too absorbed in eating, Satan in his book and Asmo on his phone to even notice him enter the room. Mammon was busy in the human world helping out sone witches. Levi sat down in his normal spot, taking whatever was left as he mentally prepared himself for the day. As soon as the bell rang, signaling the end of the day at RAD, still dressed in his uniform, Levi left as quickly as he could. There was an anime expo happening in the human realm right now and there was some ultra-rare limited edition Ruri-chan merch being sold there. He had gotten Lucifer’s permission to attend the expo so long as he was back by 11. Existing the portal and making his way to the expo, Levi thought about the last expo he attended with Y/N. They cosplayed as Erin and Levi from Attack on Titan and spent the entire day surrounded by fellow anime nerds. They had also booked a room at a nearby hotel. It was 3 days of bonding time for them. Entering the expo, Levi decided he would get something for them as decor for their headstone put in memory of them in the backyard of the House of Lamentation. Nearing the line for Ruri-chan merch, Levi noticed someone staring intensely at him. He decided to ignore them but keep a loose eye on them, just in case. He got to the front of the line and purchased 4 of the Ruri-chan collection kits. One for use, one for display, one to keep and sell in the future, and one for Y/N. He decided to wander around a little more to see if anything else would catch his eye while he was here. He spotted a Black Butler station and remembered the jokes he and Y/N would crack about Barbatos and Sebastian. He passed a Fate/Stay Night stand and remembered their conversations on which heroic class they would belong to. Levi would have been the perfect Lancer. He passed countless other stalls, each of them holding a memory he made with Y/N. Distracted by his trip down memory lane, Levi forgot all about the person stalking him. He went and purchased some dinner from one of the stalls before sitting down and pulling out his DDD and looked at some pictures of Y/N and him at their last expo. He didn’t look up from his phone until he felt someone sit opposite of him. Levi looked up to see some middle aged man just sitting there on his phone. He didn’t have any food, merch, or even look like someone interested in an anime expo. Feeling an uncomfortable aura emitting from this man, Levi got up and left. He took a quick look over his shoulder and saw that the man wasn’t following him. He left the expo and went down an alleyway to open up a portal back to the Devildom when he accidentally bumped into someone dropping his purchases.
“S-sorry”
“That’s quite alright.” The stranger extended a hand out to let him up. “Say, I’d love to know where you got your uniform from. No schools around here have uniforms like that one.”
Looking up, Levi saw the same man that was watching him with a twisted smile. Masking his fear, he mumbled an excuse about being in a rush and tried to dash around him. Before he could get 2 steps down the alley, the man grabbed him and pushed him further into the alleyway. Levi’s head struck the wall hard leaving him dazed for a moment.
“I didn’t think my intel about finding a RAD attendee at the expo would be true but whaddya know? Seems I caught myself a demon.”
Levi, now more aware of his surroundings, realized he was cornered by a demon hunter. Despite being in an alleyway, there were too many people around for him to do anything rash. Without missing a beat, the hunter pulled out an enchanted dagger aiming straight for Leviathan’s heart. Levi rolled and dogged last minute before colliding into someone’s chest. That person in question wrapped his arms around Levi’s chest and put their own dagger to his throat.
“I know you’re there! Come on out and I might spare your friend's life!” The hunter holding Levi yelled. When no one stepped out, the dagger held by Levi’s neck began pushing on his skin. Levi felt a flare of pain and against his better judgement, transformed. His tail wrapped around hunter 2’s leg and flipped him over while the first hunter charged at him, only to be blown to the ground as a powerful gust of wind knocked him over.
“Jeez Levi, you’re lucky I was here. Seriously, why didn’t ya do somethin’ earlier? Maybe then I wouldn’t have ta save yo ass.” Mammon stepped out from the darkness with a bored look on his face.
“Come on, Lucifer’s waiting for ya back home. LOOK OUT!” Levi turned around just in time to see Hunter number 2 taking a swing at his neck and managed to duck just in time. Mammon then charged over punching the hunter square in the face, knocking him out cold.
“T-thanks M-mammon.”
“No problem. Come on, let’s get ya back home before any more of them show up.”
Stepping through the portal, a question plagued Levi’s mind.
“Mammon, how did you know I was in trouble?”
“Some witches summoned me. I overheard them talk about some hunter group getting a tip about a possible demon being at some expo. Then I realized that it was the same one you were going to, so I decided to go there myself to make sure ya weren’t followed. I’m glad I did too.”
“Th-thank you Mammon. Really.”
“Of course, what are big brothers for. Anyway, about my payment, maybe you can forget about the money I owe ya?”
Groaning, Levi started walking faster, leaving Mammon and his whining behind as he made his way back to the safety of his room.
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moon-light-jukebox · 4 years ago
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“If you want me to, I will.” [Hotch x Reader]
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Summary: Reader has worked for Aaron Hotchner for the past 6 months as the babysitter to his son, Jack.
Pairing: Hotch x (Female) Reader
Word Count: 7.4k – she thicc
Category: Smut/Fluff…and some angst because of who I am as a person.
Content Warning:
A/n: We all know that Hotch’s favorite album is the Beatles "White Album." And I have odd choices for songs that I use as lullabies. This idea came into my head and never left. This video of Billie Eillish singing part of the song is the closest to the structure of how I imagined it. Okay, okay, look, I know Roy wasn’t diagnosed until season 10. But I am taking creative liberties because I needed Jack to be younger.
Meaning this would be set around season 7. Hotch would be about 41, Jack is around 7; so, I made Reader around 26, giving them a 15-year age gap. Please don’t check my math. 😌
y/n = your name. y/l/n = your last name. italicized texts are Reader’s thoughts.
-- If you want me to, I will. --
I was disoriented when I woke up. This isn’t my bed, I thought groggily. Wait…this isn’t even my house.
“Y/n,” a deep voice rumbled beside me.
I jackknifed up into a sitting position, eyes wide and my face flushed with embarrassment. “Mr. Hotchner!” I quickly brought my hand up to my cheek to make sure I hadn’t drooled in my sleep. Because that would really be the cherry on top of my embarrassment. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to fall asleep. This is so embarrassing.”
Mr. Hotchner had been crouched down, putting himself level with his living room couch; the same couch he came home and found me sleeping on. In all the months I’d worked for the Hotchner/Brooks family, I’d never seen Mr. Hotchner smile anytime he wasn’t talking to his son, Jack. He always looked incredibly serious and sometimes incredibly sad; but the normal scowl was missing from his face as he looked at me, I noticed, watching him rise to a standing position.
“It’s fine, y/n. It’s after 1 o’clock in the morning.” He shifted, turning to go open the gun safe he kept in the part of the living room where his desk sat. Mr. Hotchner, or Hotch, as he kept telling me to call him, was the Unit Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit with the FBI. Which was just a very fancy way of saying he was a profiler that was in charge of all the other profilers. Some people just look like the jobs they have; Mr. Hotchner was one of those people. “Thank you for staying late, I didn’t think things were going to run this long. I didn’t even know you were here until I called Jessica a few hours ago.”
“Oh, right,” I mumbled as I began to gather my things from the coffee table and put them into my bag. “She called me a little after 4; something happened with her dad, I think.” I zipped my bag shut, standing up quickly. “I didn’t mind helping out, Mr. Hotchner.”
He made a sound that was almost a chuckle. “You don’t have to call me Mr. Hotchner, y/n. I know I’m a lot older than you, but that makes me feel ancient.”
“You’re not that much older than me,” I protested.
He looked incredulous. “Y/n, you’re still in college.”
Well, that stings a bit. “I’m in graduate school,” I said, my voice dampening a little bit. “I’m almost 27.”
Mr. Hotchner blinked at me. “Really? I thought you were younger than that…”
“My age didn’t come up in the numerous background checks you did on me?” I scoffed, immediately wincing as the words flew out of my mouth. “Oh my god, I just keep making this worse.” I slung my bag over my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mr. Hotchner. For falling asleep on your couch…and for every moment after that. I’ll just go now.”
"Y/n," he called. "hang on, it's really late, and…I still need to pay you."
Jesus. “It is late, Mr. Hotchner, that’s why I need to head home.” I forced an awkward laugh. “I have class at 9 am.”
He pushed his hands into his pockets, regarding me in a way that made me squirm. I wasn’t used to a person paying attention to me the way Mr. Hotchner did. It didn’t make me uneasy; I just felt like I couldn’t hide anything from him…which made me uneasy. “What classes are you taking this semester?”
I don’t know why it stung so much that he knew virtually nothing about me. I’d worked for him for 6 months; he wasn’t obligated to know anything about me other than how I took care of his son. “I’m actually done with my course work this semester,” I mumbled. “I’m a TA…in a class that starts at 9 am.” It doesn’t matter, you’re just tired. “You-you can just pay me for tonight the next time I’m over. It’s not like you’re gonna stiff me.” I walked over to the door and threw a very quick “goodnight, Mr. Hotchner” over my shoulder before I scurried out.
I missed the quiet “Aaron. You can call me Aaron.”
--
The entire drive home, my thoughts were on Aaron Hotchner. None of this was what I expected when I took this job. I had been in graduate school for 2 years now. I had already gotten my master’s degree and had been accepted into the Ph.D. program. There are many branches of psychology, but I had always been fascinated with cognitive psychology; it seemed only natural that that is what I would pursue in graduate school. Once it became time to focus my interest in preparation for my dissertation, I decided to study the cognitive decay in Alzheimer's patients. We knew that they lost memories, but I wanted to explore how their basic cognitive functions were affected in certain settings.
As part of my program, I was a TA in an intro psych class, and I conducted my research at the hospital connected to the university. That’s where I first met Jessica Brooks. Despite getting a stipend for my teaching assistant work, I had been taking odd jobs to help make ends meet; D.C. wasn't cheap. When I mentioned that I had experience with kids, Jessica had immediately told me that she was needing help caring for her nephew in the wake of her father, Roy's diagnosis. She wanted to keep him at home, which was both admirable and time-consuming.
I wasn’t prepared for the gigantic background check that I was subjected to. I very quickly learned that my potential employer had some power at the FBI. Jessica had raved to him about me, so he agreed to meet with me. When Jessica told me he worked for the FBI, I was expecting a bureaucrat, kind of short, receding hairline, soft from sitting behind a desk all day.
Aaron Hotchner was none of those things. He was a total cliché; he was tall, dark, and handsome. His eyes were such a deep brown they were almost black, his hair was black, and he towered over me. His hand was firm when he shook mine. I initially thought he didn’t like me because of the scowl he wore on his face; now I knew that was just his default expression. I’m pretty sure he invented Resting Bitch Face. I think it was my meeting with Jack that sealed the deal. We had clicked right away. The 7-year-old was impressed by my knowledge of both DC and Marvel comics. I could still remember our first meeting so clearly; when in a move that I now know is so much like his father, he had asked me an interview question of his own.
“What is Spiderman’s middle name?” the boy had asked with a suspicious squint of his eyes.
This kid is poser checking me, I had thought with amusement. “That would depend on which Spiderman you’re referring to. Assuming it’s Peter Parker, his middle name is Benjamin.”
We were best friends after that.
I loved Jack; I really did. And I was paid well enough that he was the only child I babysat for, the rest of my time spent working on my research and plotting my dissertation. It was clear that Aaron Hotchner loved his son, and he felt guilty for not being around more. He was fierce and intimidating any other time, but once he was with his son, his entire face would transform. His smiles came easier, his eyes twinkled, and he didn’t seem so scary anymore.
None of that is why he made me nervous, though. What made me so nervous is the fear that one day I was going to spend enough time with him for him to see the feelings I had so stupidly developed for him.  
--
The very next night, I was hiding in the kitchen floor in Aaron Hotchner’s apartment.
“Ready or not, here I come!” the little voice called out before his feet started stomping loudly across the floor.
From my position behind the kitchen counter, I tried very hard to remain silent, despite my amusement. Jack Hotchner was many wonderful, wonderful things. Sneaky was not one of them. Which is why I wasn’t surprised when I heard his little feet hurry towards me, and I didn’t lose my balance when he turned the corner and launched himself at me. “Oomph!” was the only reasonable sound to make when a tiny human slammed into you.
Jack was delighted. “I FOUND YOU!”
My response was cut off by the sound of the front door opening. Jack was off me in a flash, barreling towards the living room. “Daddy!”
Mr. Hotchner made a similar “oomph” noise when Jack jumped on him, confirming my theory. I rose to my feet quickly, smoothing down my clothes.
“We were playing hide and seek, Daddy!” Jack informed his father. “I found y/n every time! She never found me once!” His chest puffed out with pride, making my face break into a smile.
“You’re just an excellent hider, Jack-attack.”
Mr. Hotchner’s eyes settled on my face then, for just a moment I saw something so sad in those eyes that the breath seized in my lungs.
He cleared his throat, seeming to shake off whatever he was thinking before smiling at his son. “I’m glad you had a good time with, y/n, buddy.”
Jack nodded vigorously. “I helped make dinner!”
“You did?” He questioned in fake astonishment. “When did you make dinner?”
“Tonight!”
Mr. Hotchner looked at me quizzically. “Oh, um, I wasn’t actually supposed to watch Jack tonight…but Jessica called and asked if I could. It was really last minute, and she’d already bought some stuff to make dinner…” I trailed off. “I hope that’s okay. Jesus Christ, y/n. You’re a 26-year-old woman, get it together.
His attention moved from me to his son. "Jack, go get changed into your pj's. It's almost bedtime." When Jack's mouth opened to protest this great injustice, his father went on. "You can tell y/n bye when you're done."
So much for a speedy escape, I thought. Instead, I just smiled at him. "Yep, I'll be right here, little man." Satisfied with this, Jack jumped out of his father's arms and ran towards his room.
“Why did Jessica need you to come over? Did something happen with Roy?” He looked genuinely worried, walking into the kitchen to stand near me.
I reached out and put a hand on his arm without thinking. "Oh, oh god no, nothing like that." Realizing I was touching him, I snatched my hand back like he'd burned me. "Sorry. She…she-um had a date."
His eyebrows rose so high they almost hit his hairline. “A date?” he asked, disbelief dripping from his words.
I chuckled. “That’s what she told me.”
He walked back into the living room then, leaning back against the couch, crossing his arms over his chest as he focused his dark gaze on me. “What about you?”
“…What about me what?”
“Does Jessica ever have to cover for you when you have dates?”
If Aaron Hotchner hadn’t made me so nervous, I might have picked up on how he phrased that question. As it happens, all I could do was fidget under his gaze. “Oh,” I chuckled nervously. “Ah, no. She doesn’t have to do that. I don’t really date.”
That had one of his eyebrows rising, his arms crossing across his chest. "Why?"
Because I want you to crack my back like a glowstick. “Um…you know, it’s hard to find the time.”
Thankfully Jack chose that moment to come barreling out of his room, charging full force at me. “You’re still here!” he exclaimed.
I smiled down at him when his arms wrapped around my hips. I put one hand on the back of his head, the other on his back, giving him a squeeze. “Of course I am! I couldn’t leave without telling you goodbye.”
“I wish you didn’t have to go,” he mumbled.
My throat worked as a sudden wave of emotion hit me. "Oh, Jack," my voice was thicker than usual when I spoke. "I don't like leaving you either, but you'll see me before you know it. I promise."
Once we had finally pried Jack off me, Mr. Hotchner went to take him to bed. He turned to me when he scooped Jack up in his arms. “Thank you for today.”
“It’s no problem, Mr. Hotchner.”
“You know you don’t have to call me that,” he said, his eyes never leaving mine. “Most people call me Hotch. Or you could call me Aaron.”
I didn't know what to say to that; all I could do was give him an awkward smile. I was gone before he came back into the living room. I didn't want to leave, I never did, but I couldn't risk being alone with…Aaron.
--
The following Thursday night, my phone started ringing just after 11:30. Glancing at it, I saw it was Jessica. “Hey,” I said in greeting.
“Hey, y/n,” she said, sounding frazzled. “I have a huge favor to ask. Dad’s home health nurse had to leave early tonight.” “Is something wrong with Melinda?” I hope not. She’s the sweetest.
“No, I don’t think so. But she needs to go home and there’s no one to sit with Jack. But Aaron isn’t home yet…”
“I’ll be there in 20.”
Which is why I was now in Aaron Hotchner’s apartment after midnight in a pair of shorts that were so short I only ever wore them at home and a t-shirt that I had had for forever. Jessica had sounded so upset when she called, I hadn't even thought to change. She had promised to be back as quick as she could; she said that Mr. Hotchner was flying back from a case, and she didn’t expect him until 5 a.m. at the earliest.
When I first arrived, I had tried to watch TV, my mind too wired to sleep, even though I had class at 9 am in the morning. Sighing, I glanced over at the clock to see it was just after 1:45 in the morning.
“Fuuuuuuck,” I whined out loud. I have to go to sleep; even if it’s just a little nap. I remembered Jessica had left some chamomile tea here for the nights she stayed over to watch Jack. Finding the kettle and the tea itself was no problem; the problem presented itself when I had to get a mug to put the tea in.
I had never considered myself a particularly short person; sure, I had to stretch to get things from time to time, but everybody did that. Looking up into the upper cabinets in the Hotchner house had me reconsidering that. The mugs were on the very top shelf and try as I might, I just couldn’t seem to reach them; my fingers kept grazing over the ceramic.
“Goddamnit,” I mumbled in a huff. What is the point to put mugs way the fuck up there? Some of us are a perfectly normal height…but noooo I have to work for giants. I braced my hands on the countertop as I heaved myself up on to said countertop. Once my knees were in place, I got the offending cup without further problems.
I blame how focused I was on my task for my not hearing the front door open, or the footsteps that followed. Which is why I had a mild heart attack when I heard a voice that sounded highly amused say from behind me, “What are you doing?”
Several things happened all at once, and very quickly. I let out the most embarrassing squeak in all of history, I lost my balance on the counter and the cup fell from my hand. The cup crashed to the floor and shattered. My fate might have been the same but two large hands caught me, gripping my hips from behind. I looked down to see his long fingers wrapping around my waist, gripping me tightly; my difficulty breathing then had nothing to do with how scared I was.  
“I’m sorry,” Aaron said softly, still not releasing me. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No, I get it,” I said lightly, attempting to act like I wasn’t going into cardiac arrest because he was touching me. “You’re a very stealthy FBI agent. It was bound to happen.”
He chuckled before his hands pushed my hips so I was twisting around, my legs shifting until I was sitting on the countertop, staring into the same dark eyes I thought about far too often. They weren’t as harsh as they usually were; tonight, they were soft and warm, and they made my pulse race a bit faster.
I moved to get off the counter when the hands that were still on my hips stopped me. “Hang on, let me clean this up first. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
Fantastic, I thought, hiding my face in my hands. It seems I was incapable of not making a fool out of myself in front of this man.
He worked quickly while I debated changing my name and fleeing the country; in the next moment, he was standing in front of me again. "What's wrong?"
“Oh, nothing,” I said, not moving my hands. “Just dying of embarrassment.”
Aaron actually laughed at that, moving closer to stand between my thighs, his hands coming to rest on the countertop on either side of my hips. “Why are you embarrassed?”
I dropped my hands then. “Because this is becoming a pattern! First, I fell asleep on your couch, then I almost fell off your counter and cracked my head like an egg.” I bit my lip, shifting under his gaze. “I’m sorry and thank you for catching me.”
“I didn’t mind,” he said softly.
He still had that soft look on his face, but he was smiling too like he was enjoying my embarrassment. He probably is. I had never been this close to him before. I didn’t know his eyes weren’t just one flat color of brown, but that lighter shades of brown whirled throughout. I had never felt the heat of his body before, but now I was so close I could smell him. Why does he have to smell good? I whined internally. If he just stunk, I could get over this.
This was exactly why I tried very hard to stay as far away from him as possible because I lost the ability to think clearly whenever I was with him. I couldn't stop my eyes from moving down to his lips. I was eye level with him from my position on the counter; all I had to do to brush my lips across his was lean forward, so that’s exactly what I did. His body stiffened slightly at the first touch of my lips to his. I pulled back, ready to apologize when his hand wrapped around the back of my head and pulled me back to him. There was nothing soft about this kiss. His free hand gripped my thigh, my hands held on to his shirt, trying to pull him closer. My tongue brushed against his mouth before he sucked on the tip of it, causing me to shudder. He took a step forward as his tongue twirled around mine. I could feel him when he settled against me; he was hard, and I found myself shifting my hips to rub against him.
The shrill ringing of his phone broke us apart suddenly. He was panting, his cheeks were slightly flushed. I thought I heard him let out a “fuck” under his breath as he reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone.
“Hey Jessica,” he answered.
Now that our moment was broken, I felt very self-conscious. What the fuck did I just do?! He is my boss. He is Jack’s dad. Aaron took a step back and I slid off the counter. This turned out to be a very bad idea on my part; my body brushed down the front of his, causing me to bite my lip to silence the moan that threatened to escape.
“Yeah, I landed a little while ago,” he said as I left the kitchen.
WhatthefuckWhatthefuck. I heard him end the call with Jessica before he quickly walked into the living room. A look of relief washed over his face when he saw me. “I thought you’d try to slip away.”
“I thought about it,” I told him honestly.
“Listen, y/n, about that in the kitchen,” he began.
I held up my hands. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Hotchner. I don’t know why I did that; I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” I was giving him an out because I couldn’t handle hearing the rejection I knew was coming. “I just…I guess we got caught up in the moment? And you’re really tired, I’m sure. I’m so sorry.” I was rambling now. “If you don’t want me to watch Jack anymore-“
“Y/n, no,” he interrupted. “No, this…you’re right, it was just a heat of the moment thing. It happens. I’m sorry I lost myself for a moment.” He cleared his throat, his face still set in softness. “Jack loves you. He doesn’t need to suffer for any more of my mistakes.”
Mistakes. The word hollowed me out and left me cold. I just nodded. “Right,” I said in what I hoped was an even tone. “Just a mistake. I should get going. It’s really late.”
Which is how I found myself driving home at almost 3 in the morning with tears running down my cheeks. A mistake.
--
Things went back to normal after that night. I continued to avoid Aaron Hotchner at all costs and he…did whatever he did. I tried to hide the hurt whenever I did happen to see him, but it was so hard when I could still feel the tingle from his lips on mine.
A few days after the “mistake,” I was babysitting Jack again. He’d went to bed at his normal 8:30 and all was quiet. I decided to do some TA work while I waited for Mr. Hotchner to come home. I was halfway through grading an essay when I heard the first noise come from Jack’s room. Lifting my fingers from the keys of my computer, I waited to see if I heard another sound. I didn’t have to wait long; not even a minute passed before I heard a strained cry. Jumping up, I hurried down the hall to Jack’s bedroom.
Cracking the door open I called, “Jack-attack? Are you okay, little man?” I didn’t see him right away; he had hidden under his covers and curled up into a little ball. “Hey, Jack. It’s just y/n.” I sat down on the edge of his bed. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
I saw the lump under the blankets start to move hesitantly before I saw his brown hair peak out of the blanket near his pillow. His eyes were wide and with the light shining in from the hall, I could see tears gleam in them. “Oh, buddy,” I cooed. “Did you have a bad dream?”
The boy nodded. “Yeah…there was a bad man…and my daddy didn’t come save me.”
I felt my breath seize in my chest. Jessica had told me a brief version of what happened to Jack's mother a few years ago. "Jack, you know your dad would always do whatever he had to do to come to save you." I shifted my position on the bed until I was sitting beside him. "He'd never let anything bad happen to you." Jack started inching closer to me. I held out my arms and smiled when he lunged for me; I wrapped him in a tight hug, rubbing circles on his back.
“My dad just isn’t home a lot anymore. He has a lot of work to do,” he mumbled into my shirt.  
“Your dad would be home if he could, Jack.” I couldn’t quite keep the sadness out of my voice. It wasn’t fair to either Jack or his dad that he had to be away so much.
“I know,” the little boy whispered. “I just miss him sometimes.”
“Do you want to call him?” I offered. “I don’t think he’d mind.”
Jack just shook his head. “No, it’s okay.” He turned his face up to look at me. “Will you stay with me?”
I moved so he lay beside me with my left arm still squeezed around him. “Of course, bud.” I scooted down the bed so I was reclining instead of sitting straight up, pulling the cover-up over him again. "Do you want me to read you another story?"  
He just shuffled under his covers, looking at me with the bashful innocence of childhood. “Can you sing to me until I fall asleep?”
I wasn’t the biggest fan of singing in front of people, but how could I turn this little face down? I just nodded. “Do you have any requests?”
“Nope,” he answered with a little grin on his face.
Unfortunately, at that moment every single lullaby I had ever know left my head. I couldn’t think of a single traditional lullaby. So, I decided to improvise. I started singing slower songs I knew, some of them might not have been appropriate for a 7-year-old’s lullaby, but I don’t think Jack cared that much.
He was almost out, drifting on the edge between deep sleep and awake. My arm was still around his shoulder, he was still snuggled to my side. I decided one more song would be enough, which meant I pulled out my second Beatles song of the night.
“Who knows how long I’ve loved you?
You know I love you still.
Will I wait a lonely lifetime?
If you want me to, I will.
For if I ever saw-“
I glanced up, immediately sensing there was someone else in the room. To my horror, Jack’s father was standing in the doorway, staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. I swallowed nervously, then I turned to press a kiss against Jack’s soft forehead before I gently detangled myself from him. I straightened my clothes that to my further embarrassment had shifted around because I was laying with a wiggly child, then, attempting to keep my face impassive, I walked to the door, moving around his father as I exited.
Mr. Hotchner walked into the room and checked on his son, while I moved into the living room to gather my things. I wonder if he just left the money by the door, I mused. If he did, I could just make a dash for the door. I mean, if he didn’t, he could always just pay me next time. Sadly, my plans were escape were foiled yet again by the man in question entering the room.
"Sorry," I muttered. "I know he was up past his bedtime. I put him down at 8, but he had a nightmare." I was babbling, not meeting his eyes, my gaze very intently focused on my bag. "He asked me to stay with him until he fell asleep…" I finally looked up, shrugged, and said, "He's very hard to say no to."
“You don’t have to apologize for being nice to my son, y/n,” he said softly. “That’s one of my favorite songs on the White Album, you know.”
I hadn’t known that. “Mr. Hotch-“
He took a step towards me before I finished speaking. “Y/n, please, I can barely handle this as it is. Please call me Aaron.”
I just blinked up at him. “So, ‘Hotch’ is off the table now?”
That had a soft smile curving his lips upward. "That was a limited-time deal. You should have been quicker." I saw his hand rise up slowly, so slowly that I would have had time to move away…but I just couldn’t. He brushed my hair back from my face, his eyes were two pools of black in the dim light, they were swirling with something that made my stomach flutter.
“Aaron,” I breathed, having no idea what I was going to say.
He let out a soft sigh, turning his eyes upwards. When he brought them back down to mine, his hand slid from its place near my ear to cradle the back of my head. His eyes searched mine for a moment before his shoulders dropped slightly. “Fuck it,” he muttered before he leaned down and sealed his lips over mine.
I might have thought this kiss would be questioning or unsure, but there was nothing unsure about it. Aaron kissed me like he was starving for me. His teeth caught my bottom lip and tugged as he pulled away. “It wasn’t a mistake,” he breathed before bringing his lips more firmly against mine.
My hands began to move over his body; one of my hands grabbed his tie and used it to pull him closer to me, the other reached up to brush against the short, soft hair on the back of his neck. “It wasn’t?” I questioned when we broke away for air.
Aaron’s lips moved across my cheek, leaving soft kisses until he reached my ear. “No, sweet girl, it wasn’t.” His mouth moved down to my neck; his kisses turning into bites that were sure to become brushes. I didn’t care, I needed him. My hands moved to his shirt, quickly trying to undo all the buttons.
His hands moved down to the waist of my jeans, deftly flicking the button open before sliding the zipper down. “Is this what you want?” he asked as his hand touched my lower stomach, his fingers brushing over the elastic band of my panties.
“Yes,” I said, still working to free him from his shirt. “I want this so much.”
The fingers of his free hand rose up to tap my chin, forcing my eyes up until I met his gaze. "I want to hear you say my name again." His other hand lifted from my stomach to slide over the flair of my hip until he was gripping my ass. "Whenever I laid in bed that night after I had you pressed against me in my kitchen when I stroked my cock, I thought about you moaning my name.” The hand that was on my chin pulled away, skimming down my body until he was grabbing the other side of my ass. “So, say it. Tell me what you want.”
“I want you, Aaron.” So, so much.
His hands moved to the backs of my thighs, then he lifted me up his body, startling me. Jesus Christ, how strong is this guy? I threw my arms around his neck as he started walking us down towards his bedroom. A giggle escaped my lips. “I could have walked, you know.”
We had already entered his room; he tossed me gently on the bed before he turned to close and lock the door. He walked to stand at the side of his bed, his eyes devouring me. “I couldn’t give you a chance to sneak away again, sweet girl.” Aaron pulled off his tie before he finished unbuttoning his shirt, shedding it on the floor.
Fuck. Fuck, he’s hot. I pulled my own shirt over my head, and his body was on top of me before it even left my hands. Aaron's mouth moved down to my collarbones, his hand slipped behind my back to unhook my bra. Once the straps were down my arms, Aaron lifted himself up on his arms to toss it away, his eyes running over my body. "You're so beautiful," he said softly like it wasn't the sweetest compliment I'd ever been paid. He leaned over again, his lips skimming down to my chest before he wrapped his lips around one of my nipples.
“Fuck, Aaron,” I moaned.
He gave my nipple a flick with his tongue before he lifted his head. “Ssh, sweet girl. You have to be quiet. Can you do that?” He kissed his way over to my other breast. “I can’t do this if you won’t be quiet.”
“I can be quiet,” I whispered right before I bit my lip to smother my moan at the feeling of his mouth on me. “Maybe.”
His breath puffed against my skin when he laughed at me. My hands threaded through his hair when he brought his face back up to mine. My mouth opened eagerly for him, my tongue slicking over his while I tried to grind my body against him. Aaron was smiling when he broke the kiss, shifting up onto his knees. “Well, I appreciate you trying to be quiet at any rate,” he teased.
My response died in my throat when his fingers yanked my jeans off my legs, bringing my panties with them. I was totally bare in front of him. His eyes raked down my body in a way that would make me self-conscious with anyone else. How could I ever be self-conscious with a man who looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world?
But when he started to kiss further down my body, I grabbed his arm, attempting to pull him back up to kiss me. “Aaron,” I whispered.
He pressed a soft kiss to my collarbone. “What’s wrong, beautiful?”
“You don’t…you don’t have to do…that,” I mumbled, feeling my face heat up.
Aaron braced himself on his arms and stared down at me. Enlightenment dawned on his face a second later. He leaned down to kiss me softly. “Do you not want me to?”
I bit my lip, feeling more flustered. “It’s just…I’ve never…and I know that guys don’t really like-.“ My words were cut off when he placed another kiss to my lips, still incredibly soft, but with more force than before.
"If it makes you uncomfortable, I won't," he said quietly. "But I can assure you, I can't think of anything more I'd rather do than lick your pussy until you cum all over my face." He skimmed his lips over my cheek to my ear. "And once you've come down, I want to slide my cock inside you and feel how soft and wet you are." His kisses moved down to my neck, his mouth sucking on my pulse point. "Then I want to fuck you until you're whimpering against my lips to make you cum again.”
I felt my core throb at his words. No one had ever said anything like that to me before. He lifted his gaze when he got back to my breast, flicking my nipple with his tongue. “Is that what you want too, sweet girl?”
I have never wanted anything more, I thought; but I was so far gone that all I could do was nod.
He gave me a soft smile, moving down the bed further to settle between my thighs, pulling them further apart. I felt a kiss pressed to one thigh, then the other. His hot breath washed over the part of me that was already so wet for him. “You’re beautiful here too,” he murmured before he pressed a kiss to my clit. I lifted my hips at the sensation, causing him to chuckle and move his hands to wrap around my thighs, his arms anchoring me in place. A second later I understood why he braced my hips. The second he flattened his tongue and licked the length of my pussy, my hips started moving involuntarily and my fingers tangled in his hair.
I felt a puff of air against me when he laughed again, and it made me smile. I didn’t expect Aaron Hotchner to be fun…or dirty in bed. All thought immediately left my head when he parted me with his tongue, dipping into my entrance before spearing his tongue into me. I felt the vibration when he moaned against me. "You taste so fucking good, y/n," he said, his voice still hushed. Giving my entrance one last lick, he moved up to my clit.
He spent time moving his tongue around me, learning what made me squirm. When he started fluttering his tongue quickly over my clit my hands started tugging on his hair and my thighs tried to snap together.
“Aaron,” I whined, attempting to rock my hips against his mouth.
I think he understood what I needed better than I did. His left hand released my thigh and moved down to my heat, just below his mouth. I felt his fingers brush over me before he pushed on inside me, causing my back to arch off the bed. “Aaron, Aaron, fuck.” He added a second finger, pumping them in a rhythm that complimented the movements of his mouth.
I wasn't prepared for when his lips closed around my clit, sucking lightly, while his fingers started to curl inside of me. “Oh my God," I moaned out, louder than I should have. "Aaron, I'm going to cum." I started pulling on his hair so hard it must have hurt, but he just moaned against me, never slowing his pace. "Aaron, fuck, please. I think…I-I-“
My words broke off as the band inside of me snapped, my pussy clamping down on his fingers and my back arching off of the bed, my mouth hanging open in a silent scream.
Aaron slowed his motions, slowly bringing me through the orgasm and back down to Earth. With one final kiss to my thigh, he rose and moved up my body until his face was hovering over mine. His lips were shiny with my arousal, they also looked a little swollen, but more importantly, they were smirking at me.
I’ll give him that one. Reaching up I cradled his jaw in my hands, bringing his mouth down to mine. I tasted myself on his lips and tongue when he licked into my mouth. Despite the powerful orgasm he had just given me, I was still desperate for him. I broke away from his mouth. “Aaron, I need you.”
He pressed another kiss to my lips before he lifted up and stood at the side of the bed, undoing the buckle of his belt. My eyes were fixed on his movements, watching as he unbuttoned his slacks and slid them down his legs. His cock was a thick pipe outlined in his underwear. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband before he spoke again. "I'll give you everything you need, greedy girl." Aaron pushed his underwear down, his cock springing free before he climbed back on the bed.
He was so much thicker than I expected he would be. I moved my hand down to wrap my fingers around him, pumping his length. He let out a groan and lowered his forehead to mine. “Baby,” he muttered. “I…fuck. I have to get a condom.”
“Aaron,” I whined. “I want to feel you inside me. I’m on birth control. Please?” The thought of anything separating me from this man was abhorrent to me in that moment.
I saw his willpower crumble. “Are you sure?”
So sure. “Please,” I begged lifting my head to kiss him. “I want you to fuck me.”
With a groan that I will remember for the rest of my life, he shifted his hips forwarded, allowing my hands to guide him to my entrance. Aaron kissed me then, slowly and deeply has he started to push inside me. My hand flew away from his cock, both my arms wrapping around his body to pull him closer to me. I felt my nails digging into his back.
Aaron broke our kiss with another soft moan that sounded like my name. “I knew you’d feel like this,” he whispered, pressing deeper inside me. “I knew your pussy would be this fucking tight, this fucking hot, and so fucking soft." He started moving in and out of my pussy, going in a little further each time. “You still have to be quiet, sweet girl.”
“I’m trying,” I moaned, my pussy already starting to flutter around him when he finally pushed all the way inside of me. “Aaron, fucking Christ.” I felt him everywhere, and I somehow still craved more.
He grabbed my thigh, pulling if further up his side, allowing himself to sink deeper inside of me. “I know, sweet girl. I know.” He started a slow pace, pulling almost all the way out of me before slamming back inside me.
My head was thrashing against the pillows, my teeth digging into my bottom lip. “Aaron, I need you to fuck me harder. Please.”
He groaned at my words, placing a sloppy kiss to my mouth before pulling back. He pulled one of my legs up until it was over his shoulder, the other still wrapped around his waist, and then he started to move faster inside of me.
I braced one hand against the headboard as he pounded into me. “Oh my god, Aaron,” my voice was a low whimper as I looked down to see his cock sliding in and out of me. “You feel so fucking good.”
“Baby, I want you to reach down and rub your clit for me while I fuck your tight little pussy.” His pace started to speed up as he spoke. “Can you do that for me?” He groaned when I complied, the stimulation to my clit causing my pussy to flutter around him. “Good girl.”
My fingers began to work frantically. “Don’t stop, Aaron. Don’t stop,” I begged. “I’m so close.”
“I know, sweet girl, I can feel you. Your pussy feels so good squeezing around my cock. You’re going to make me cum.” His thrusts were starting to get choppier, one of his hands braced on the top of the headboard while the other held my leg on his shoulder. “Do you want me to cum inside your pretty pussy, sweet girl?” He groaned loudly when my walls clenched around him. “It feels like you like the idea of that, don’t you baby?”
My fingers continued their pace, my head thrashing, my body trembling. “Yes. Fuck, Aaron. Please cum inside of me. Please.”
Aaron felt it first and acted quickly; his hand moved from my leg to cover my mouth. “That’s it, cum for me, baby.”
I thought my orgasm earlier tonight was powerful. It was nothing compared to how I felt when I came around his cock, only to feel him find his own release a moment after.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, y/n,” he breathed, giving a last few jerks inside of my body, pushing against the fluttering aftershocks of my orgasm. He rolled off me, careful not to drop all of his weight on top of me. To my relief, he quickly gathered me in his arm, pulling me against his body, pressing a soft kiss to my sweaty forehead.
My ear was pressed against his chest, allowing me to hear his heartbeat slowdown from its frantic pace and his breathing even out. I turned my head and pressed a kiss to his chest while his hand continued to stroke my back.
“That…that was amazing,” I said, looking up at him. “If I knew you had that in you, I wouldn’t have run out of the room every time I was alone with you.”
He laughed softly, his eyes sparkling. “Well, at least you’ll know for next time.”
My thoughts sobered at his words. Next time
“Hey,” he said, his hand cupping the side of my face. “No, don’t go away. I just got you.” He kissed my forehead again, then the tip of my nose, then both of my eyelids, before he tilted my face up further so he could press a kiss to my lips. “We’ll figure this out. We have to. I care too much about you to let you go.”
“I care about you too,” I replied, snuggling against his chest, my eyes suddenly feeling heavy.
I was almost asleep when I heard his voice rumble again. “Will you sing Beatles songs to me when I can’t sleep too?” His voice was sleepy and teasing.
I smiled into the darkness, not bothering to open my eyes. “If you want me to, I will.”
--
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batmansymbol · 4 years ago
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fellow ADHD/chronic sleep issue friends: try SleepTown
Hey everybody! Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to spread the good word of this app, which has actually, legitimately changed my life. (this post isn’t sponsored lmao i wish)
I’ve had sleep problems for half my life. Around 8th grade, I lost the ability to make myself shut down for the night. I’d sit in front of devices, wanting to stop working or studying or messing around on the internet, but I couldn’t make myself. This was about ten years before I learned what “executive dysfunction” was, and about 13 years before I got diagnosed with ADHD, go figure.
So, when I was a student, I’d pass out at 4 AM, then wake up every morning feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. It was a running joke in college how I would sleep in public places, trying to snatch 15-minute naps here and there because of exhaustion.
After college, it got worse. I’m self-employed, so I stopped waking up in the morning at all. I worked until later and later times, until 3, 5, 7 AM. I woke up at 2 PM, then 4, then 6. Eventually, fully nocturnal and trying to reset my inner clock, I’d pull all-nighters and try to stay awake through the following days. Then I’d pass out for 14 hours, after being awake for 30 hours straight. Rinse, repeat, for years.
Due to sleep issues, I have: nearly driven off the road in high school, dropped classes in college, fallen into depressive episodes, developed a Vitamin D deficiency, gone days without eating, and lost friendships due to self-isolation. It’s been a blast!
I tried so many things to fix the constant grogginess, fatigue, and messed-up schedule. I tried a sleep study at the hospital, repeated blood tests to check for hypothyroid or anemia etc., melatonin, Zzzquil/other sleeping pills, the “multiple non-phone alarm clocks” strategy, a light-emitting alarm clock, and about six different apps, including that one that makes you solve math problems to shut the alarm off.
There’s one called Sleep Cycle that’s pretty good at what it does - it helped me feel less groggy when I woke up - but within a few days of starting it, I was back on my bullshit.
Then, about a month and a half ago, I downloaded an app called SleepTown. It costs two dollars. The concept: you set a goal for your nightly sleep parameters (mine is 12:15 PM to 8:45 AM). Before you go to bed, you hit the Sleep button.
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After you hit Sleep, a construction site pops up and begins to build a cute cartoon building like the one above! If you leave the app after pressing Sleep, or if you don’t press Sleep before your bedtime, then the building is destroyed, leaving a sad-looking demolition project :(
So, you have to leave your phone alone. The next morning, the alarm goes off as scheduled. When you press “Wake Up,” and shake the phone for a minute to prove you are awake, the cute cartoon building will be completed and added to your Sleep Town! This is mine so far:
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The app has various game-like features. You don’t know which building you’re going to get every night, so when you wake up, it’s like unwrapping a present. There are dozens of cute buildings to unlock, and achievement badges like building every kind of tent. Every seven days you meet your goal, you get a red ticket to help unlock a rare building (like the red-roofed library in the picture above).
There’s also a simple social feature. The pyramid in the pic is from me being in a Sleep Circle with a friend, meaning we have the same bedtime goals. This would be especially good for a couple who’s trying to get more regular sleep.
Despite the gamelike feel, though, it’s not an addictive app. It’s not designed to keep you fiddling around with it all the time and waste more time on your phone. It’s just gamelike enough to create a really good carrot/stick balance. Most sleep-related apps are only the stick, featuring louder or more relentless alarms - but that doesn’t make you excited to go to sleep on time.
This app makes sleeping feel like a fun, purposeful activity. I want to see which building I get, and it makes me really happy to see this town that I’ve been constructing through taking care of myself. And I don’t want to “let down” a building by destroying it.
It’s borderline ridiculous how dramatically my entire life has changed. Excepting a couple times I’ve stayed up for a social situation, I haven’t been awake past 1 a.m. for six weeks. I cannot believe how good I feel. I eat regularly. I have a meal plan and a calendar. I have hobbies and a work-life balance and I stick to (virtual, covid-responsible) hangouts that I make with friends.
It’s not totally failsafe. You CAN lie to the app and press “Sleep” while continuing to do things (except your phone, which will be locked down). I tried to do this a couple times. But I wound up feeling guilty about lying, because it felt stupid to want this little reward when I hadn’t actually met my goals.
In the same way, you CAN technically hit “Wake Up” and go back to sleep, but the shake-awake feature helps with that. I’d like it if they added something even more aggressive, like a step counter or something that won’t count you as Woken Up until you’ve taken 20 steps around your house or similar.
As it is, though -- I'm still groggy when I wake up at 8:45, but 1) keeping a regular schedule has lessened the grogginess and 2) when I wake up, I know for a fact I’ve gotten 7-8 hours of sleep the night before and I’ll feel fine in half an hour. So, in order to push past the groggy phase, I usually play a few chess puzzles on my phone or do a crossword, and by then I’m awake enough to get up.
I doubt this app will work for everyone, but I wanted to share it in case there is anyone else out there like me. Hope y’all are hanging in there, and happy sleeping :)
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songofsaraneth · 3 years ago
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Another very busy but very fun couple weeks over here!!!! what a change of pace from the every-day-the-same-blur the last couple months have been.
My parents birthdays are in late June/early July so I went back to Chicago to visit for those + the 4th. It’s been well over a year since I was last at my childhood home and I always miss the lake I grew up on sooooo much. Got to have a nice time kayaking around (pic 1) and enjoying the water lillies and frogs :)))) Also visited my extended family in rural western IL, my uncle is one of the 3 people that make up the towns entire historical preservation society, and they just finished moving/restoring a cute cabin and some equipment from when the area was first settled, which was neat (pic 2). 
On the 3rd I went downtown to hang out with my childhood bffs + partners + my friend’s daughter on a beach on Lake Michigan (pic 3), and its the frist time i’ve been around so many people since 2020 and i’m definitely both rusty on the social skills as well as still feeling weirded out by groups now. It was a really hot day with cold water and good company and food though so while a shock to be back in such a weirdly “normal” setting I did still have a good time. And saw a couple of them again on the 4th at my house, and the neighbors across the lake set off a surprisingly good firework show (pic 4).
I also got to go visit @onionjuggler and her pups (pic 5 & 6 and oops forgot to take any of us together lmao)!!!!!! While this is not actually the first time we have met as we overlapped at the same college (and were both in the campus circus group no less), we reconnected on tumblr last summer bonding over Dragon Age & Mass Effect obsessions and it was soooooo nice to get to hang out irl as a follow up :))))) 
Anyway I spent less than a week back in New Mexico frantically catching up on working + prepping for my following trip this past weekend. Also got to do some baking for a labmate’s post-thesis-defense party, it’s the first time I’ve been able to bake for other people in???? SO long and I missed it. Made doughnut muffins (not pictured) which are delicious but not photogenic and then mini fruit tartlets (pic 7) which taste good and are also very visually show-off-y. Happy to say they were a hit!
Anyway then friday night I drove over to AZ where a photographer couple I’ve worked with a few times before/kept in touch with just moved a few months ago (all the way from New Hampshire). Their new house has a pool so we arranged to do both some figure-on-landscape and figure photography plus also some underwater work! It’s been since last March since my last modeling gig and FOREVER since I’ve gotten to do any mermaid portraits, so it was very exciting to be able to get back to both. Spent the weekend running around jumping on rocks in improbable places with full face makeup + giant lashes lmao (pic 8) and on very little sleep since we were doing sunrise shots as well. I style/advertise myself as an “adventure model” able to get to trickier locations and do harder shoots than the average model, and Jay (the photographer) has done several with me before, so we also went to a location he knew he’d probably not be able to get another model able to reach as it involved an uphill 5 mile technical mountain bike ride followed by a mile of hiking while carrying our giant backpacking bags of camera equipment + outfit/makeup changes + 3 liters of water, all in 95º weather in midday desert sun lmao. The shots turned out SO good though, and I even got to jump in an ephemeral waterfall pool for a bunch of them, and then the mountain bike ride back down was SO fun, though I still had to walk a few bits since no way was I doing some of those technical rocky corners while in a 25lb pack. Bikes & some gear featured in pic 9 :D
Pic 10 is the view from one of the locations we shot at! Involved a technical scramble up the back of a boulder, but looked like a totally sheer face from the front--it’s gonna be super impressive in the final pics. I was wearing a dress made from an old repurposed parashute, so the skirt hangs way down over the rocks and will billow if there’s any breeze, which we did have a bit of. You can see the giant adventure van we roamed around in under a tree in the foreground. I’m really glad I was able to go out and get those because I actually woke up with a migraine saturday night and my rescue meds give me super weird dreams/make me fairly woozy, but luckily the migraine was a fairly small one by my standards and the meds had worn off enough that I could do the climbing stuff safely. But it did mean I only got like 3 hours of sleep after only 2 hours of sleep on friday so I was fairly exhausted. greem.jpg.
And the underwater stuff in the afternoon went really well to!!!! It’s soooo hard to tell if anythings turning out in the moment since you can’t really see on the viewfinder if things are working, but we got some AMAZING stuff I’m super excited to share once he finishes editing. 
Drove home last night (sunday) however there was a HUGE monsoon stormfront. I’m glad becuase we need the rain desperately but for like an hour I had periods of almost no visibility (doing 40mph in a 75 zone with hazards on) and there was up to 2 inches of water on the road surface. So I stopped in a rest stop to nap for 2 hours until it cleared up. But I also hate naps and then slept weird once I got home at 3:30am so now I’m in a weird exhausted haze but also still kinda wired rip. But! Fun times and very much looking forward to a nice hot shower now that I’ve eaten and had an hour to just sit and breathe.
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onechicagorpf · 5 years ago
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Not A Stranger - Part 3
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Chicago Med intern)
Waking up in bed next to a random naked guy after a drunken night out usually sucks, but eh, whatever. you’ll never see him again, right? Well except this time, random naked guy turns out to be your ED attending’s little brother, so maybe you’re a little bit screwed…
Read Part 1 here Read Part 2 here Read Part 4 here
Warnings: SMUT. A little bit of R-rated smut! Swearing, the usual cuss words. Some angst/PTSD, although it’s not overtly discussed. Dubious medical content (discussion of amputation & blood), some of which has been shamelessly lifted from a season 3 episode of Code Black!
A/N: So there’s definitely going to be a Part 4, lol! I’ll try and have it out by this time next week. Send me asks/messages/leave a note if you liked this and want to see more - it really makes me feel so much less insecure about my writing ahaha! Also do send me short prompts or requests that I can fill as blurbs (i.e. nothing that’s going to be a several chapter story - I will request those later on!) - preferably for Jay but I can do Will as well! Female!Halstead sibling is also okay :) Anyway enough talking, enjoy!
PS: I make mention of bearded Jay in this chapter; this gif is totally the version of him I had in my head for this chapter!
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"Walter Holden. 16 years old, victim of an auto accident, came in with a dislocated right leg."
There's droplets of rain on the other side of the windows. It blurs the view - all of a sudden, the buildings you can usually see from the 13th floor of the hospital are just fuzzy, beige blocks.
"Preliminary exam showed no other major trauma, and his vital signs were strong. His leg just had to be reset."
A shudder goes down your spine - was the hospital's conference room always this cold? Well, you don't know - you've never been in here before.
"Dr Halstead advised 10 mil of morphine, but the patient refused pain medication, and the leg was reset. It was at this point that Dr Halstead handed the patient off to Dr Y/L/N, requesting her to evaluate his leg for blood flow."
There's been a strange tapping noise for the last 5 minutes, but only now do you realise it's your fingers against the oval, wooden table.
"Dr Y/L/N? Dr Y/L/N!" You snap out of your reverie and look up. Dr Lanik's glaring at you. You apologise. He takes his seat, next to Mrs Goodwin and Will, both of whom send you a soft smile that doesn't quite reach their eyes. They're trying to be reassuring, but it doesn't matter - you're ready to drown yourself.
Clearing your throat, you speak. "I was instructed to evaluate his right leg for blood flow. I did so by checking his pulses, uh, dorsalis pedis and posterior tibialis." You pause, as some of the other occupants in the conference room - all members of the board or lawyers, all wearing pristine suits and a cold, calculating expression - turned to look at each other.
You clear your throat again. "It was a uh, a textbook exam."
"I'm sorry, in which textbook does it say to check for an arterial injury by just palpating a pulse?" Dr Lanik cuts in sharp.  Will closes his eyes, as you struggle to breath normally.
"90% of all patients - "
"I can't hear you, Dr Y/L/N." Dr Lanik's voice booms across the room, and Will's had it.
"This is ridiculous, there's no need to be intimidating her like this - she's a first year resident and - "
"And she was satisfied with a pulse check to evaluate blood flow? Do I need to remind everyone here that the acceptable course of action in this scenario is to order a doppler or an ABI? That boy's leg was sitting for ages without proper blood flow, and eventually the best we could do for him was amputate it."
Will shakes his head vehemently. "Pathology's looked over the leg - they determined that the severity of the accident combined with the amount of time it took CFD to extricate Holden from the car meant that his leg wasn't viable before he even stepped into the ED." Will turns to you, his eyes piercing as he spoke directly to you.
"There was nothing you could've done that would've changed the outcome. Nothing."
You take a deep breath. You don't nod.
"Alright, we've heard everything we need to hear." The head of the legal department says, after a few moments of discussion with the board members. "Given the findings from Pathology, we will not be terminating Dr Y/L/N's employment here at Chicago Med. However, we recommend that her OR privileges be revoked, and that she is attached to an attending for a duration of 2 months, by which point hopefully she will learn that not every case is a textbook case." She stares directly at you. "Dismissed." Chairs scrape against the floor as everyone makes their leave.
Will places his hand on your shoulder, and you realise you haven't moved even after everyone's left.
His voice is soft. "We all make mistakes. And - "
"I could've been the reason he lost his leg. If he'd come in with ample time to save the leg, and I just - and I just didn't realise it, I could've been the reason a kid had to lose a leg." There's tears in your eyes as you turn to look at Will, who just sighs.
"Yeah. But that's not what happened."
"I got lucky." You shrug, tears freely streaming down your face now. "I just got lucky."
Will doesn't say anything. He just hugs you.
***
It's not the kind of thing you just get over, you realise, because it's been 5 days since it happened but you can't get it out of your head. You've been barely getting any sleep; often you jerk awake in the middle of the night or the early hours of the morning, after which it's next to impossible to fall asleep again. It's also affecting your work more than just making you tired - you keep second-guessing your medical judgements, deferring to Will or Natalie or Ethan for anything and everything. None of them bite at you for it, because they know what's going on and they know what you're going through, but some part of you wishes they would. Wishes that they'd just grab you by the shoulders and shake you, and say "Be a damn doctor."
Dr Charles met with you for lunch earlier today, and you lamented your troubles. The kind and thoughtful psychiatrist patiently listened, before giving you some wisdom you needed to hear. Amongst which was "find a distraction".
"You mean focus on something else?" You asked, chasing a watermelon cube at the bottom of your fruit cup.
"Yeah, but it's a little bit of a dangerous tactic. See, you don't want to distract yourself from dealing with the pain and the guilt you feel, because emotions don't tend to go away when you suppress them like that. But if you're having trouble processing it, it can be helpful to take your mind off of it for a while, wait til some time has passed and it's not so...intense. And maybe then it'll be easier to tackle and get over, y'know?" Dr Charles advised and you nodded, taking it in.
You think about what exactly you could do to distract yourself as you finish your shift and make your way towards your car in the parking lot.
Maybe I should take up painting?
The thought of yourself - little miss notoriously bad at anything artsy - trying to paint has you chuckling softly. You're about to give up on this whole distract yourself thing when, as if on cue, your phone buzzes with a text message. You get into your car, turn on the heating, and pull out your phone.
J.H. 11:32PM
So...guess who's back :)
You can't help the smile on your face. Jay's been undercover for the past week - it actually got started the next morning after the night you went over for "hockey". He'd gotten a text early in the morning asking him to come in, and so the two of you had actually barely spoken since...the festivities of that night.
You 11:33PM
Congrats, detective :)
J.H. 11:33PM
Wanna come over and help me celebrate?
Huh. Well maybe Dr Charles wasn't off-target with the whole "distract yourself" thing - although you're positive having meaningless sex is probably not one of the healthy methods of distraction that he was envisioning.
But quickly, you realise it doesn't matter - ever since what happened, you haven't been sleeping well at night. It's been close to 6 days and you're wrecked, so maybe some good, tires-you-out-completely sex is exactly what you need?
You 11:34PM
Be there in 15
 J.H. 11:34PM
Can't wait :)
 Your lips curve into a smile as you pull out of the parking lot and down into the main road.
***
"I've been waiting to do this...for so long..." Jay murmurs in your ear before pressing kisses down the side of your neck, his hands roaming all over your body. You tilt your head to the side, exposing the expanse of your neck to him.
“It’s only been…a couple ‘a days…” You reply softly, and you feel Jay’s huffs of soft laughter into your neck. You turn to look at him, pulling away. “What?”
There’s a teasing smile on his face. “Most women take it as a compliment if a guy says he hasn’t stopped thinking about her.”
You shake you head, putting on a teasing look, “Uh-uh, that’s not what you said, you said you’ve been wanting to do this – ”
“It was implied – ”
“It wasn’t implied and even if it was – ”
“It was implied and even if it wasn’t, that’s still a compliment.” Jay says pointedly, a huge grin on his face. You narrow your eyes at him, trying to hide the growing smile on your face. He chuckles, seeing right through you.
You smack his arm. “You keep laughing at me in bed and I’m gonna get mad.” This gets Jay full-on laughing, and your jaw drops in pretend-outrage. “You fucking – ”
“No, no, no c’mere – ” Jay pacifies you, leaning over you, arms on either side of you as he starts to kiss your face, your jaw, the corner of your mouth. But there’s still the slightest smile pulling up the corners of his lips, and when he presses them to your lips, you can’t help but laugh into the kiss. Jay reaches up and holds your face, the kiss becoming soft, loving, drawn-out, and some feeling deep in your core tells you you’re just…somewhere else right now. You don’t know how to describe it, other than that everything in this moment feels perfect, feels right.
A shiver goes down your spine, and maybe it’s because Jay’s shifted, and is now sucking a spot on the base of your neck, hard and strong and deep, and his hands are skimming downwards, unbuttoning your soft cotton top before unzipping your jeans. And maybe it’s because you don’t know what the fuck you are doing here, with him, with all of this. You think about how wrong this is, how bad this is, how his brother’s your boss and this was just supposed to be one drunken hookup and then it became two (except you weren’t even drunk that time) and now it’s about to become three –
“Y/N?” Jay calls softly, and you look at him – his hands resting gently over the hem of your panties, his face hovering over the space between your legs, and the look of…almost reverence in his shining green eyes.
You stop thinking.
Your hands reach downward, sliding your panties off and Jay eagerly helps, getting them off completely. Just like last time, Jay draws out the foreplay – kissing, licking, and nipping at the skin of your inner thighs, making the heat in your core build. Running your fingers through his dark hair, you yank it a little to get him to get going, and he pinches your hip – a quick slap of the wrist. Laughing, you repeat the action, pulling on his hair, and he groans.
“You’re real impatient, you know?”
“Jayyyyyyyy,” You whine, pouting down at him. He’s got this look of a predator – a confident, cocky smile on his face. Jay dips his head down, his mouth making contact with your cunt.
“There we go,” You murmur, gasping as you feel his hot breath on your most sensitive regions. Jay’s hands grip tight into your supple skin, holding your thighs open for him as his tongue circles your opening. Your back arcs as you moan, the sensation of his tongue on you setting off what feels like fireworks in your head. Jay’s mouth presses into you, hard and deep, his tongue licking and lapping at your now sopping wet cunt.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck – ” You whisper, eyelids fluttering shut as Jay softly flicks his tongue over your clit. He repeats the motion, going up and down, teasing your clit and your hip jerks upwards sharply in response. Settling your ass back down against his soft sheets, you catch your breath and mutter a soft apology – “Shit, sorry,” – and Jay taps your thigh, a silent “don’t worry about it”, as he’s nosed his way back between your legs immediately.
Jay laps at your folds and you try to keep your head about you, try to not lose your mind, but it just feels so good. He sucks your clit into his mouth gently and your eyes roll into the back of your head. “Oh my god, ohhh my god – fuck!” You whimper, as he keeps sucking your clit, pausing to flick his tongue over it. Your fingers clutch the sheets around you hard enough to rip holes in them. The loud moans out of your mouth are bordering on screams. The feeling in your core, the heat, starts rising like a wave reaching a shore –
“I’m gonna – I’m gonna – I’m gonna – ah, ah, ahhhh – fuck! Fuck, fuck – Jay! Jay!” You scream, your vision whiting out completely as you arch off the bed, riding out the waves of pleasure wrecking your body. You hands fly downwards to grab Jay’s head as you jerk away from his still-working mouth, your oversensitive clit causing tears to pool in your eyes. Pulling him up, you whisper his name over and over again, like he’s the only gospel you know. Jay shifts up, laying down next to you and pulling you close, your bodies fitting into each other like a perfect pair of puzzle pieces. You look at him through your teary eyes and all you see are his green irises staring right back at you with a measure of something dark and lustful in them. You hold his face in your hands, running a thumb over the rough stubble of his cheeks, his jaw, where a soft beard has started to grow. His lips are glossy and wet, from you, and you see now there’s a soft pink line going across his nose that you trace with your hands, frowning.
“I’m okay,” Jay says in a soothing voice.
“What happened?” You ask, concerned, the frown between your eyebrows deepening as you look up at him.
A soft smile. “Kinda got into a fight. Guy tried to punch me, I dodged it, but his fingernail scratched me. It’s fine.” Jay replies quickly, and his face is so close to yours that you’re breathing the same air. You don’t say anything, but you must still be frowning because Jay speaks again. “It’s literally just a scratch.” You hum softly in response, running your hands down his front, unbuttoning his shirt, scanning the expanse of his chest and abdomen with your fingertips and your eyes.
Jay lifts your chin and you turn back to him. “What?”
“Are you checking me for other injuries?” He asks, chuckling. You look back down, pausing for a moment. “Maybe…it’s not like you’d tell me if you got hurt, right?” Jay just laughs, and there’s your answer. You ignore the burgeoning feelings in your heart of some kind of dejection.
Your fingers run over a sliver of raised skin, on his lower right flank. It’s a thin, pale pink scar that runs about 3 inches. You work in an ED – you know exactly what this is.
“You were stabbed?” You ask, stunned. “When?”
Jay sighs, grabbing your fingers in his hand and holding them closed. “Army stuff. Not a big deal.” He pushes your fingers away to your own body, and then reaches for the blanket and pulls it up over the two of you, like as if the conversation’s over.
“You don’t want to talk about the Army,” you point out, as Jay lays on his back, some distance between the two of you. He sighs again, looking upwards at the ceiling. “Is that a question or a statement?”
You know you shouldn’t push, but you do anyway.
“You should talk to someone about it  – ”
“I talk to people about it. I have.” Jay’s voice is tight. He’s still not looking at you.
“You can talk to me about it...” You say, and you’re terrified. Because what you’re really asking is “Do you think I’m close enough, do you care about me enough to let me in?”.
Jay turns to you, a soft smile on his face. “It’s fine. I’ve got other people for that.”
Hiding the immense desolation that’s weighing like an anchor on your chest from showing, you just send a shallow smile his way. 
He’s got other people for that. He’s got other people for sharing his feelings, his pain, his suffering, his life. He doesn’t want you for that, I mean, why would he share all of that with you? You’re just a warm body – some random girl he’s having sex with. Nothing more.
You pull the blankets tighter around you, turning away from Jay. Trying your best to quell the wave of sadness flooding what feels like every single part of you, you drift asleep. 
***
“Dr Y/N?”
You turn, and there’s Walter Holden on a bed in the ED.
“Walter?” You walk to his side, stunned. He’s crying – tears spilling out of his soft baby blue eyes, his youthful face scrunched up in pain and anguish.
“Why did you do this to me? Why?!” He yells, his voice cracking. You shake your head. “Walter, Walter I’m so sorry – I didn’t know, I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to – ” You choke on your words, and as you look down the bed you realise that Walter’s amputated leg is bleeding at the stump.
“Oh god, oh my god – ” You get up, shocked as the blood starts gushing. Walter screams.
“Help me! Dr Y/N – help me! Help me!”
You hear your heart hammering in your ears, your head is spinning, you stand up and you feel faint.
Will rushes into the room. He starts holding as much gauze as he can to Walter’s leg. Nurses and doctors flood the room, and they begin moving Walter out. You’re standing, back pressed to the treatment room wall, aghast. 
Will turns to you, his face red with rage. “What are you even doing?! Fucking hell, Y/N – you can’t do anything right?!”
There’s a painful lump in your throat, and you can’t breathe. Something grabs your hand and you snap your head. It’s Walter, and as they wheel his bed out, he looks at you with so much fury and torment in his eyes.
“YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE A DOCTOR!”
“No, no, no, I’m so sorry Walter, I’m so sorry – I’m so sorry – this can’t be happening, no, no no no – ” Tears stream down your face and you start shaking. Your knees buckle, and you fall to the ground, sobs wracking your body. Somewhere in the distance, you hear your name being called, but you can’t answer, you can’t do this anymore, you can’t – you just can’t…
“Y/N! Y/N!”
You jolt, your eyes flying open. Jay’s over you, his eyebrows drawn together, his eyes wide, concerned, his hands holding your shoulders where you realise he’s been shaking you – shaking you because – because –
Fuck.
It was a fucking nightmare. Again.
You let out a cry of pain, bringing your hands up to cover your face. “Breathe, just breathe.” Jay says softly, rubbing your arms up and down.
After about a minute, when you don’t feel so shaken anymore, you wipe your eyes and slowly sit up. Jay shifts with you, sitting right next to you. You can’t look him in the eyes.
“I’m – I’m sorry I woke you,” you whisper to your palms, resting atop your folded legs.
“Don’t – don’t worry about that. Y/N, what happened? It sounded pretty bad…” Jay says and you shake your head.
“I’m fine, it’s fine – ” Your hands run through your hair roughly. You need to go. You need to go – you need to leave – you can’t be here –you can’t be here with him –
“Hey. Hey,” Jay repeats, when you don’t answer. He reaches across and his warm hard gently grabs your face, trying to get you to look at him but you just push his hand away. You get up, grabbing your underwear and jeans from the ground and start getting dressed.
“Y/N!” Jay gets off the bed, and comes to you. You sidestep him, or at least you try to, but he’s much taller than you and his shoulders are broad; he stands in your way and grabs your arms softly.
“Y/N, look at me – ”
“Why?” 
You give him what he wants. You look up at him, you stare him directly in his eyes, shaking in anger and fear and what feels like the weight of the world on your shoulders. 
“Hmm? Why? This isn’t – you don’t care – what does it matter –” You yell at him, your mind frazzled as you fall apart in his arms.
The frown on Jay’s face gets deeper, and he shakes his head, leaning close. “Hey, talk to me. C’mon, you can talk to me – ”
“Why the fuck would I talk to you? You’re just some guy I’m sleeping with!” You spit harshly, shaking his hands off and stepping back. Jay’s mouth falls open, and his shoulders sag. His face contorts into something awful - dismay, defeat, hurt.
For a moment, you want to run back into his arms – apologise, say you didn’t mean it, say you’re just scared – but you don’t. You move around him, grabbing your shirt. You put it on and make your way out of his bedroom, and out of his apartment.
You don’t know why you said what you did. Actually, scratch that, you know exactly why you said that. In fact, you know exactly why you’re what you’re doing.
Every relationship you’ve ever had up to this point’s fucked you over. Every single one. You’ve been cheated on, you’ve been lied to, you’ve been told you were just some piece of ass, not an actual girlfriend. And now?
Now you’re scared shitless of what this thing between the two of you is. You’re scared shitless that you’re making a mistake by screwing around with your boss’s brother and you’re –
Well.
You’re scared shitless you’re falling for him.
So, you do what you do best. Dump out of this, push the self-destruct button. Get him to push you away so you don’t have to go through the pain of falling for the guy you can’t have. The one that you know’s going to screw you over, because he’s going to realise he only really sees you as a hookup – that he doesn’t love you.
You try to hold back the tears, because you’re driving home and the last thing you need right now is a car accident. There’s a buzzing sound from your phone and you perk up. As much as you want to tell yourself to not get your hopes high, you can’t help yourself, and you speed down the road to the red light so you can push the brakes and wait. Your fingers wrap around your phone and you immediately check the screen. 
The smile on your face falls – it’s just a stupid notification from Instagram. You toss your phone back onto the passenger seat, hard enough that it bounces off and hits the ground. Tears once again threaten to fill your eyes, and there’s a painful lump in your throat. You swipe at your cheeks, where a single tear has made its escape, and turn to look at the screen next to your steering wheel – it shows the time as 3:45AM. Leaning back against your car seat, a deep sigh exits your lungs.
You realise there’s no way you’re going to sleep again today, what with the whole Jay thing on top of the Walter Holden nightmare that’s been haunting you for the last 6 days now.
The lights turn green.
Swearing under your breath, you throw your car into a U-turn and drive to Med instead.
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fiddlepickdouglas · 3 years ago
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Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 11 - De Orfeo Records
Summary: Sunset Cure AU, Willex, is there a chance?, 2.8k
@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends
WARNINGS: death mention
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10
Reggie and Carlos were running around in the middle of taking down equipment after their latest gig. Luke shook his head as he wrapped cords over his arm and placed them in a storage box. Alex, however, was nervously trying not to get run into as he carried various pieces of his drum set out and handed them to Bobby in the back of the van. He could forgive Reggie not really helping out since he was taking responsibility for the kid, but also hadn’t anticipated that their energies combined would put him more on edge.
As he went inside to grab the last piece of his set, he found that Reggie had taken his flannel and tied it around his neck like a cape, with Carlos wearing his leather jacket in a similar fashion. They approached Bobby, who immediately joined their game and they pretended to battle each other. By the time Alex had finished getting his whole set in the van, they were playing out a dramatic victory over defeating Bobby.
“Guys, this is great, but we really should finish packing up,” Alex said, although he was smiling from the entertainment.
“I guess you’re the next bad guy we fight,” Carlos said in a mock-deep voice.
“We can schedule it later, Robin,” Alex teased.
“Oh, no, he’s Batman,” Reggie corrected. “I’m Robin!” He put his fists on his hips in a proud superhero pose.
A big SHHHHHH came from Luke and they all looked over at him to see what was up. He was far off by the venue office, holding a phone to his ear and writing onto a notepad. His eyes were wide with excitement, and his energy was only held back by the other hand tapping against the paper. The boys watched as his smile grew bigger and he said goodbye, barely putting the phone back in place properly.
“YEEESS!!” he cried, raising his fists into the air in celebration. They all came running toward him to see what had happened.
“Boys, we’ve got good news!” Luke told them. Looking on in anticipation, Alex gripped his fanny pack tightly. “One of the record execs that came tonight is offering for us to sign onto their label and put out some songs! He even heard our demo!”
Everyone celebrated, jumping up and down and high-fiving each other. Reggie let Carlos climb onto him in a piggyback and they both yelled triumphantly. Luke pulled Alex into a bro hug, then Bobby. Alex held his arms up and placed his hands on top of his head, unable to believe what had just happened. Euphoria filled his head like helium and he went to double-high-five Carlos, who was still perched on Reggie’s back.
“So what else did they say?” Bobby asked, still smiling.
Luke had to shake off some more excitement before he could explain the rest.
“Ahhh, so he said we could meet in a few days to discuss business and contracts and such, let us get a look at the studio and stuff. I got all his contact information and he’s totally excited to get us on. We’re moving on up boys!”
The celebration continued, and their renewed energy caused the rest of the take-down to go by much faster. They were still riding the high as they drove home. Alex listened to Luke talk about which songs they would want to record first and where they would land on the charts. He remembered that feeling he had back at the Pearl during their sound check. Doing that? For real and not just dreaming and hoping about it? They hadn’t made it just yet, but this was a change he could be excited for.
Reggie had been staying with Carlos, which the rest of the boys figured was a good excuse to not stay home. As Bobby pulled up to the house, he and Luke began climbing out of the van. Carlos and Reggie were already inside.
“Uh, guys?” Alex said, still in the back of the van. They all turned back to him. “What are you doing?”
“Oh,” Luke gestured like oh-silly-me. “We all decided to stay here for the night. It’s just a nice change from the garage and Julie’s aunt has lots of leftovers that need to be eaten so…”
“So...I’m grounded,” Alex reminded, raising his eyebrows. His parents hadn’t been happy about him sneaking out to the pier the other night.
“Screw your old man, Alex,” Bobby said.
“Yeah, he can eat my shorts if he tries to do anything about it,” Luke added.
Alex took a moment to think. Disobeying wasn’t going to do anything for or against him at this point - he kept anything truly important to him out of his parents’ reach and since he’d gotten the punching bag he could actually contend with their tempers. They couldn’t punish him in a way that mattered.
“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” he said finally, following them into the house.
They found Reggie and Carlos already raiding the kitchen.
“Alex, you’re staying too?” Reggie said when he saw them enter.
“Yes!” Carlos cried, pumping his fist. “You get to make popcorn. Tonight, the Empire Strikes Back!”
“Oh yeah, baby!” Reggie responded as the rest of the boys began following orders from Carlos. Alex wasn’t crazy about Star Wars, but eh….young Mark Hamill was hot so he didn’t mind too much. He was sure most of them would fall asleep during the movie anyway.
A couple hours later it turned out he was right. Carlos was slumped on the floor leaning back against the chair Luke was sitting in, hand still in the bowl of popcorn. Luke was leaning on his hand, breathing soundly. Alex had watched earlier as Bobby’s head flopped onto Reggie’s shoulder and the flustered look that had overcome Reggie’s face, and it was too good not to smile at. Once the VCR began automatically rewinding the movie, Alex shut off the TV.
He stared at the ceiling as he pulled the handle on the La-Z-Boy he was in and reclined into a somewhat comfortable position. Even now, weeks later after meeting for only a day, the first thing he wished he could do was tell Willie the news about the record label. He probably would have been just as ecstatic as the rest of them, if not more. Victoria would be back soon and hopefully have some news. He guessed it didn’t matter if he’d been right about the missing kid, but maybe just knowing if she got to talk with Willie would be enough.
The memory of soft brown eyes still rose in his mind. He’d been doing his best to keep that moment cemented in his brain because he’d noticed it helped him sleep. It was funny because he’d done the same thing with the guys, but staring into Willie’s eyes had been an entirely different experience. Alex wished he had the proper words to describe it, but the best he could do was marvel. Willie was clearly unaware of the strength he held, and it made Alex want to bring that out with his entire being. If he ever did get the chance, that would be something worth looking forward to.
Victoria didn’t arrive until the afternoon the next day. Since Alex felt that she had gone because of him, he made everyone else clean her house as well as they could. No traces of food on the floor, no messy beds, and the kitchen was cleaner than when they had found it. As she came back into the house, she put a hand over her heart.
“Wow!” she exclaimed. “I should take trips like this more often if you boys are this good!”
“Yes, tía, please, please, please let them babysit me again! Pleeeeaaassee!” Carlos begged with his hands pressed together.
“Ay, sobrino, no me quieres?” she shook her head.
“No, I do!” Carlos tried to recover. “But they’re fun!”
As if to make a point, Reggie rubbed a hand on Carlos’ head.
“It’s okay little dude, we’ll be back.”
Victoria pulled her wallet out of her purse.
“Well, you boys took very good care of him and I promised I would pay you, so here you go.” She handed each of them a generous amount of cash. Luke, Reggie and Bobby all whooped as they thanked her and headed to the van. Alex held back with anticipation. Victoria looked at him seriously.
“There was no connection,” she told him before he asked. “His guardian explained everything to me, and there was nothing else to go on. I wanted to know because I thought I could solve an old case, but I had to let it go.”
“Well, did you get to talk to him?” Alex tried not to sound too urgent.
“You mean Willie? No, I never saw him. After talking with his guardian I didn’t need to.”
Bowing his head, Alex made himself swallow his other questions. She had at least tried.
“Thank you,” he said. “I’m sorry if it was inconvenient.”
“I chose to go, don’t worry about it,” she assured.
Nodding and saying thanks one more time, Alex hurried out after the rest of his friends.
A few days later, the boys slammed the doors of the van shut as they looked up at the building before them. It was so plain and simple on the outside; they never would’ve guessed there was a studio there. It was likely they had driven past it many times on the way to a gig. Pushing through the door, they all looked at the logo in neon lights on the wall: De Orfeo Records.
Collectively, the boys took in awed breaths at the reality of where they were standing. This was too good to believe. Alex took in the scene, trying to imagine this being a place he came to regularly. Could he ever get used to it, or get over the sheer excitement of just being there? Luke patted him on the back, desperately trying to contain himself. They wandered through the halls a little bit until they came to a room where the door was sitting open.
“Oh, boys!” A man called as they almost walked past it. “In here!”
As they all shuffled in, the man shook their hands and pointed them to a couch where they could sit. Alex nervously stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket as he took a seat. The man across from them was dressed surprisingly casually, if not with obvious expensive taste. He still had sunglasses on, but their yellow tint was clearly not for actual UV protection.
“Nice to meet all of you,” he was saying. “My name is Alan, I’m one of the producers here at De Orfeo. Which one of you did I talk to on the phone?”
Luke raised his hand.
“That was me,” he said, already gushing with excitement. “How’d you hear about us, anyway?”
Alan didn’t answer, but instead looked up at the doorway as someone else came in.
“Hello boys!” Caleb Covington entered, his charismatic smile spread wide across his face. “So nice to see you again.”
Alex’s heart rate immediately sped up and he clenched his hands inside his pockets. How could it be? He thought his last chance to reach out to Willie was gone and seeing Caleb brought back everything he hadn’t been able to ask Julie’s aunt. All the guys were happy to recognize him.
“I won’t be staying for the negotiations,” Caleb said. “but I wanted to properly introduce myself as the owner of this label. I want to assure you boys the best experience as newcomers in the industry. Let any nerves that still linger walk right out the door.” His eyes landed on Alex for a moment, and it felt purposeful. “Take it away, Alan.”
Listening to the producer’s pitch was difficult to focus on now, and Alex had to fight hard against his brain latching onto the new hopes that had arisen. He was thankful that when paperwork came out, Bobby was mindful enough to have them read through it. It was taking too long, though, and Alex was already wishing he had his drumsticks in hand to help pass the time. Reggie had so many questions, and Luke had trouble understanding numerous words - at least that kept Alex occupied because he could be helpful in that. A good hour had passed going over all the information.
“This looks great!” Luke said finally. “How are we feelin’ boys?”
Each of them nodded and looked around at each other, confirming that they all agreed on every settlement. Luke grabbed a pen and pulled his copy of the contract toward him, pausing momentarily to drink in what was happening. Then he signed his name in giant letters. Alex, Bobby, and Reggie followed suit, and Alex could feel a weird tingle rush through his hand as he made the final flourish with his pen. They were all in now.
As the band began celebrating, Caleb knocked on the doorframe.
“If it’s alright with you boys, I wanted to speak with Alex privately for a moment,” Caleb said, gesturing for Alex to follow him outside the room.
His curiosity was at the point of overflowing, and he went out trying to control his trembling hands. Maybe Caleb had talked to Willie after all. This could be his way to bridge that gap and he wouldn’t have to live off of just memories.
Everyone else was still going nuts over getting the contracts signed back in the room. Standing in the lobby, Caleb was looking at him seriously, maybe even pitifully. It quickly drained the exhilaration in Alex’s chest.
“I can tell you’ve been wanting to ask me some questions,” he began. “But before you do, I thought it was best to inform you of some important details first.”
Alex looked up at him with his hands back in his pockets and gulped. Why was his heartbeat suddenly so loud? He knew Caleb couldn’t actually hear it, but it still embarrassed him. His mouth began to go dry.
Caleb furrowed his brow, as if what he was about to say wasn’t easy to get out. He bowed his head and took a breath before looking at Alex again.
“Willie,” he started. Then he paused. “Is dead.”
The trembling in Alex’s hands stopped.
He stared at Caleb, as if he could pull off the serious expression and find a joking smile underneath. It was a few moments before he remembered to breathe in, and blinking seemed to cut that moment into two as if the first one wasn’t real.
“No, no, that can’t - ” he heard the words spill out of his mouth. Why was his body so tense and ready to defend itself? His cheeks felt hot.
“I know the news is hard,” Caleb interrupted, placing a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I can hardly bear it myself. There was an electrical fire. He didn’t make it out.”
Alex could only shake his head. Caleb’s expression wasn’t changing and for some reason it was the most infuriating sight. He could punch that face and make him bleed if he really wanted to. The adrenaline was already rushing to his fist.
“There has to be a mistake,” he said, chuckling darkly.
“There is no mistake,” Caleb told him firmly.
How was the man so calm? How could he say those words out loud and not immediately crumble to the earth? How could he have worn such a large smile earlier?
“I know you two weren’t friends for long, but he made it clear you were important to him.”
The words came through as if from a tiny speaker. They’d only gotten one day and it wasn’t enough. Willie couldn’t go like that, he simply couldn’t - not when Alex needed to know if they could’ve ever had something real. He still wanted to know so many things about him and look into those brown eyes and soften the hard edges on them. He needed to - 
He was crying. On his hands and knees, trying to get the dark shadow that had grown inside his chest to come out. It made him choke. Caleb had apparently left him alone, unable to console him, and he felt hands on his back and shoulders as he fought to properly breathe. Luke was knelt down before him, mouth hanging open in want of words but not able to form any. Bobby was gripping his hand and supporting him as he and Reggie pulled him up onto his feet.
“We need to get him in the van,” one of them was saying.
Any movement from there was not his own. All three boys were trying their hardest to help the tallest member of their band out of the building. Everything was numb - like a machine that had broken down after being run too hard.
The brown eyes faded into darkness, murky and thick. There was no air in his lungs to scream into that dark, no tie-dye, no rolling of wheels on the sidewalk, no ‘ribbit’, no more wondering and hoping.
Dead quiet. That was all.
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producingtrashycontent · 4 years ago
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who are your favorite top ten black clover characters & ships? talk about them! ~tat
Ooh this will be fun. I'm not sure I'll have as much to say as some other people who have been asked this question, but I hope it's ok!
Top 10 Black Clover Characters
1. Mereoleona Vermillion
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I could rant for hours about how much I love this woman. She's very strong and doesn't give a damn about status, which I love about her. Like almost all the females in Black Clover, she isn't overly sexualized or dependent on a man in some way. I love her character design, her magic, and everything. I think I'm a little obsessed with this woman honestly.
2. Noelle Silva
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A typical female shonen character that's part of the main guy's harem. What I love about Noelle is her development. She goes from a royal who hates commoners to a strong female lead that accepts anyone for who they are. I haven't watched all the anime in the world, but from what I've seen, she's gotten the best development of any shonen female. If there's another one out there, please let me know. I love that Noelle's character development isn't over. I can't wait to see where she ends up by the end of the series.
3. Asta
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Our gray-clad hero. A typical shonen protagonist with a never give up mentality. I really love that about Asta. Asta's mental strength is off the charts. He was able to dealing with people bullying him his entire life over something he had no control over. And yet, he continues pushing onward to change the dynamics of the Clover Kingdom. What a brave boy. Of course, with mental strength like that, it makes sense his brain can't keep up in other areas. I love how much of a simpleton Asta can be. It makes him more endearing. Asta's character even inspires me to push past my own limits and never give up on my dreams.
4. William Vangeance
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A sweet, quiet man with a deadly secret. I love his origin story and how it has affected his life to this day. The main thing I love is how complex his character becomes. From a top captain to a man struggling living with another soul in his body that defies the ideals and people he believes in, William is complex. I couldn't imagine living with another soul in my body for about 15ish years. Dealing with this all alone without going insane marks William as another mentally strong character. Choosing between the mentor that saved you and gave you a new life and the best friend who's shared your body for longer than you've know your mentor must be a very difficult decision to make. I'm not surprised William wasn't able to choose between them. I hope both William and Patry get a good redemption arc.
5. Finral Roulacase
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A typical playboy character. He's cute, funny, and relatable. I tend not to like playboy characters, but Finral is different. He believes all women should be worshipped and treated like princesses, and he actually has a backstory. Having a sibling who is better than you in all ways reminds me of Zuko and Azula from Avatar. Despite dealing with his parents disappointment and his sibling's sneering his whole life, Finral never turned evil or tried to get revenge. At first, he ran from his problems, but with the help of the Black Bulls, he conquered his fears and grows stronger each day. I really love this boy.
6. Nozel Silva
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LOOKS AT HIM HE'S SO FUCKING CUTE DJJSJDJAJJS! Ok rant over. As a royal, I never expected Nozel to have a reason for treating Noelle the way he did. Granted, I don't approve of it at all, but I love that he's working to change. He's also very stoic and strong. Nozel has a cold exterior that can be broken over time. That's what Asta did to this Silver Eagle. Now, Nozel is rivals with 2 commoners. I love that he's changing to be better with Noelle. I can't surroort how he treated Noelle before, but I love that he's working to change his relationship with her. Also, his braid is so majestic. I had a dream and the whole dream was me staring at Nozel's majestic braid flowing in the breeze. I love this handsome man.
7. Yami Sukehiro
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This man. Thiiiiis man. He is glorious. He's funny, smart, grumpy, and strong. I love him for all the reasons everyone else does. The main thing I love about Yami is the vibe he gives off. When I see Yami, I see a shonen protagonist who has completed their journey and gives advice to the newest generation of protagonists. He's such a well-rounded character. I would live a spin-off series of Yami's adventures when he was young. That would really sell.
8. Fuegoleon/Leopold Vermillion
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THEY'RE BOTH SO PRECIOUS
Fuegoleon: I love this man. Such an inspiration. Just like his other siblings, he doesn't care about status. My favourite line if his is: "There isn't any shame is being weak. The shame is in staying weak." This line can really apply to anything in life. He also inspires me to do better.
Leopold: BABY. Ahem. I love his spunky personality. He's makes me think of Asta had he been born into a royal family. I love that, even though he's a royal, he has his own issues to deal with: making his own way in life and not having to live in his siblings' shadow. He's just a precious bean that requires protection.
9. Klaus Lunettes/Julius Novachrono
I RAN OUT OF PIC SPACE
Anyway, I love these boys. So good.
Klaus: Mom friends are the best kind of friends. I love that he changed because he witnessed Asta and Yuno's abilities and decided these boys were strong. They weren't cheating in any way. He was the first noble to change his ways and believe is Asta and Yuno, and I really love him for that.
Julius: A man working to change his country. We love that. I love that Julius is working towards a country where everyone tears each other as equals. That's a hard task to take on, yet Julius didn't hesitate and took the challenge head-on. Also he's hot...
10. Dorothy Unsworth/Yuno
I love these babies so much.
Dorothy: Hot, short, and powerful. My spirit animal. She's hella strong and shows us that you don't need to be a big strong man to be a powerful leader. Also, she sleeps a lot, which is something I desire more of in life.
Yuno: UwU baby. Hot, strong, and stoic. What more do you need? I love his HEALTHY rivalry with Asta. It's such a joy to watch him grow side-by-side with Asta. I love him so much that I'm not even sure who I want to become the Wizard King in the end. Can we have them both be Wizard Kings?
I don't have a top 10 list of ships, but I do have ships. I'll just talk about them in no particular order.
Mereoleona x William
I love this ship because opposites attract. But if someone tells me they ship William and Patry, I'm not going to argue. Overall, this ship would make both these characters even better than they are now.
Dorothy x Nozel
I get Hinata/Kageyama vibes from this ship. A small, eager baby with a tall, stoic and distant partner. The main reason I ship this is because of the fact that Dorothy knows about what happened to Acier. Nozel wouldn't tell just anyone about that. He must trust Dorothy a huge amount for her to know that information. A royal wouldn't share his darkest family secret with a lavender-haired witch from another country. Also, after the time skip, they both changed a part of their outfits for feathers of the bird corresponding their squad. They got feathers together!
Finral x Vanessa
After the seabed temple arc, I shipped these two. They have such a wholesome relationship that makes them better people. They're so cute together! What else can I say?
Asta x Noelle
I love how much they help each other become better. Asta is doesn't realize it yet, but he cares about Noelle more than he realizes. Noelle fell for Asta because he was the first person to ever say anything good about her magic. I just love these two. They're so cute!
Yami x Charlotte
I get the same vibes from this as I get from Asta x Noelle. A tsundere and an oblivious protagonist. I love this ship for the same reasons as Asta x Noelle. I won't repeat what I said before, so read the reasoning for Asta x Noelle. I love these two as well!
Grey x Gauche
I love the reasoning for Grey loving Gauche. I totally see Gauche being as protective of Grey as he is with Marie. Grey might help Gauche loosen up a bit with Marie. These two are just really cute, ok.
I can't think of any more ships, but yeah. Those are my favourite black clover characters and my favourite ships.
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chilly-me-softly · 4 years ago
Text
Every Little Thing’s Gonna Be Alright • Chapter 15
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14
Evelyn opens her eyes with a sigh, it's 6.43 according to her phone and she would have gladly gone back to sleep if she didn't have to go to the bathroom. Puffing, she forces herself out of bed and especially out from under the covers, and the moment she puts her feet on the floor, they touch a soft surface.
She flinches at first before looking with her own eyes at what is on the floor. It's the pillow she had placed on her daughter's right side when she had brought her into bed with her a few hours earlier. A sense of panic suddenly runs through her body as she remembers, looking for the baby quickly across the room and leaving just as quickly when she finds no trace.
Evelyn suddenly stops once in the living room, when her eyes focus on her brother and daughter lying on the couch. A sense of relief runs through her as she brings a hand to her still racing heart and she approaches the two. Ben is murmuring something to the little one and smiles at her when he notices her.
"Look, mum's woken up too"
"Ben you can't do that. I was scared to death" Evelyn runs a hand over her face watching Ben sit up and then doing the same, a small caress to her daughter who sighs in her uncle's arms.
"Sorry. I just came by to check on you and she was awake, I just wanted to let you get some more rest"
"And I appreciate that, I just... I don't know I got scared. I thought she had fallen or something" Ben chuckles lowering his gaze to the little girl and gently stroking her back.
"Besides, I wanted to say goodbye to her before I have to go"
"You won't even be gone two days" she rolls her eyes sarcastically, but the sweet smile on her face says otherwise.
"It makes me nervous thinking of you two here alone" Ben shrugs as if to justify himself, after two consecutive home games it was time for Ben to travel for an away one. Getting away wasn't in his plans, a part of his brain had completely erased every away game for some reason. He wanted to give his sister all the support he could at the moment but still he knew she would be in good hands in his absence. Or so he thought.
It had turned out that Deb wouldn't be there, a seminar booked long and long ago that she had to attend; their parents wouldn't be able to join her, a gathering that Evelyn had insisted they go to anyway because she would be fine. He had no doubt of that, but that hadn't stopped him from worrying anyway. He'd been on the verge so many times of calling in sick or just making up a last-minute emergency, but he knew deep down they'd be fine. He just had to convince himself of that and focus on something else, the game for example.
"Ben I appreciate your concern but it had to happen sooner or later and we need it. No mum or dad, no you or Deb. Just me and my little girl"
"And if anyone shows up uninvited by me, they will be kicked out. Clear?" Ben nodded with a sigh under her glare, leaving a kiss on the top of the little one's head before leaving her with Evelyn and getting up to gather his things.
"I didn't know you were a separation anxiety kind of guy" his sister teases him to distract him as he glares at her.
"I wasn't, until I met her" he admits and the two exchange a smile before Ben goes to get his suitcase from his room.
"Just be sure to call when you get there. And don't think too much about us, we'll be fine" she murmurs hugging him and leaving a kiss on one of his cheeks.
He nods before bending his knees slightly and coming face to face with Cece and grabbing her small hand, "Don't let mum get too tired, I know she'll always be there for you" he gives her one last kiss on the forehead before grabbing his suitcase and closing the door behind him.
"We'll be fine, promise" she murmurs leaving a kiss on the baby's little head who must have sensed something as she starts to whimper slightly.
-
She's travelling in a parallel universe where she is witnessing what her life would have been like if she hadn't decided to come back. Not a single person in sight, the television on but the volume is almost non-existent, the silence within the walls of the house is broken only by the little one's cries and she is trying to understand why, having eaten and with a fresh nappy, those cries are increasing rather than stopping. No one to call, no one to disturb, just her to do everything and to remember to take care of herself and feed herself. Or she has the feeling that she'll start whining like her daughter at any moment.
"What do you say, can mommy eat something?!" she coos but doesn't even finish the sentence that the doorbell rings. "Apparently not"
And she sighs before staring at the door wondering who it is, she swears if Ben really did send someone he better not come home. But when she opens the door, she's just as stunned.
"Hi"
"What are you doing here? Wait he didn't send you, did he? Ben" Jack chuckles, shaking his head, a confused expression on his face.
"Why would he?"
"I'm alone, he's worried" she cuts it short, suddenly realising he's still outside. "Please, come in" she quickly moves away from the door so he can come in and not let the little girl in her arms get too cold.
"Got it. Anyway no, I can assure you I knew he wouldn't be there but he didn't mention anything else" she nods as she leads him over to the couch where they sit not far from each other. Evelyn settles Cece better in her arms and she smiles slightly, which makes her smile too.
"She's grown so much" the girl looks away from the little girl to bring her gaze to Jack, for a moment their gazes meet before Jack is totally captured by the little girl absentmindedly bringing a hand to her face. "Everything looks different from the pictures"
"Yeah, photos don't have sound" she jokes as she removes the hand from the little girl's face for the umpteenth time, she's already scratched herself enough with those nails.
"Do you want to hold her?"
"Can I?" he responds immediately, almost incredulous that he was asked. As if somehow he wasn't trustworthy of having a baby, that baby, in his arms.
"Yeah. Come on" it's not the first time he's held a baby in his arms but it feels like it. They're all so fragile, he's afraid of hurting her maybe by using too much force and not realizing it. But at the same time that feeling of omnipotence when she doesn't complain but lets him hold her is priceless. And so as soon as he has her in his arms, as soon as she settles down and seems to study him with those curious eyes, he can't help but smile at her.
He looks at Evelyn for a moment as if to say 'look at that smile, she's not crying! She likes me, she likes me!' before letting the little one tightens her small hand around his index finger. And Evelyn watches them, trying to capture every little detail of that scene in her mind. From the smile on Jack's face, to the way he seems to wrap his arms around her, to the way her little girl looks at him curiously. If she had gone blind at that very moment, she would have been glad to have been able to see that as her last real image.
"Can I take advantage of that since you're here, to go make some food? I'm starving"
"Yeah, yeah sure"
"Do you want anything? Have you eaten yet? Of course not, you're here"
"Oh don't worry about me, I'll get something when I get home"
"Uh-uh no way. The least I can do since you're here is making you lunch"
"Okay then... what should I do?"
"Just stay there, watch some TV I don't know...make yourself at home. All I need is free hands and a few minutes" and Evelyn disappears into the kitchen so fast that Jack can't retort or say anything else for what it's worth. In a moment it's just him and the little one in his arms and all he can do is focus his gaze on her again taking his time to study her as well.
-
"Um I don't know if it's good but she fell asleep" Evelyn turns around startled, Jack had been so quiet she hadn't heard him come in. He seems to notice and apologises slightly but she shakes her head as she moves closer and notices with her own eyes that indeed Cece is sleeping placidly in his arms and won't wake up if they put her down.
"Can you take her to her room?" she murmurs before walking past him and letting him follow her in there even though he knows the way. She watches him gently place her in her cot and cover her with the blanket placed just beyond and continues to have her gaze directed there even as Jack approaches her with the clear intent of leaving the room.
"What? I thought you said that-"
"It happens with Ben too, that she falls asleep pretty much in no time when she's in his arms. And it makes me think that well... that maybe she needs a male figure?"
"Or that she doesn't like you" she instinctively pokes him in the chest and he laughs and they inevitably make a bit of a mess but the little girl doesn't seem to care. Jack waves her off anyway and they walk away from it.
"Don't do this to yourself, I mean it. Children are in charge. When they want to sleep no matter who's holding them, they fall asleep"
"You mean you guys don't have any tricks?"
"I mean it's more your problem than hers at the moment, she certainly doesn't make a distinction"
"I know" she sighs lowering her eyes for a moment, "Come on, let's go eat something"
"Hey" Jack stops her by the arm making her turn towards him again, "I know what your worries are and probably with Cece here now they've only gotten bigger. But that little girl still doesn't know how lucky she is to have you as her mother, Ben, your parents back in the picture... she won't miss anything because she'll only be surrounded by the people who really love her"
And me. If she ever needs anything she can count on me too. He would love to add that but can't as he looks into her eyes, the hand on her arm going to position itself along her waist. His other hand goes up higher instead, stroking her cheek lightly with his thumb. One of Evelyn's hands is immediately on his, he feels her thumb make the same movements on the back of his hand. And he smiles slightly before pulling her close to his chest and holding her close. When her arms tighten around his figure as well, Jack sighs.
"Come on, I seem to remember someone was starving" Evelyn almost moans before pulling away from his chest, taking his hand and dragging him into the kitchen.
-
It's all so beautiful, magical she would dare say. They had eaten, chatted, bickered because Jack had insisted on washing the dishes - Evelyn had gotten the better of them and so Jack had gone to check that Cece was still asleep. It all seemed so normal, so ordinary.
But a small voice in Evelyn's brain had been fighting to come out ever since she'd opened the door hours ago and found Jack standing in front of her. She'd managed to push it aside until that moment, letting Cece steal the show or just enjoying the moment. She'd held back because she hadn't wanted to ruin everything, Jack had driven till there to visit her - again - and she hadn't wanted to risk it all ending before it had even started. But the more time passed the harder it became to ignore that voice, needing a few answers to silence it.
"Can I ask you something?" and sitting on the couch not far from each other, the question couldn't help but be asked. She doesn't know when Jack plans to leave and doesn't want to take the chance frankly.
"Yeah sure" Jack is quick to nod as he looks at her, his elbow resting on the back of the couch making sure he can support his head on his hand.
"What-" Cece's sudden cry startles her as she glances at the nearest clock, ending that brief moment of courage. "Ugh forty minutes. I should have called her clock" she comments sarcastically making Jack chuckle.
"I'll go if you want"
"Ah no, she'll definitely be hungry. I'll be right back" she stands up then quickly disappearing from his sight.
Jack sighs. He knew sooner or later that moment would come, he has come to know Evelyn over those months, he knows she has to try and explain everything. Keep everything under control on the outside to try and give an explanation on the inside too. And indeed he is almost surprised that it didn't happen sooner.
However, he doesn't know whether or not to thank the child at that moment. He is certainly aware of what he's doing, but unlike her he does not think much before doing something. He acts more on instinct, guided by his feelings, and then stops to think. And it can go right, it can go wrong, but he's learned not to live too much in his head and he's never had to deal with any major consequences up to that point.
He gets up from the couch, trying to shake off that sense of sudden agitation, and starts wandering around the room, stopping in front of those framed photos that represent good times in Ben's life and for which his friend has inevitably earned lots of teasing. Jack stops in front of one photo in particular, a picture of Ben and Evelyn as children. The two siblings have their arms around each other and are smiling happily. He remembers the laughter that came out when he saw it the first time, his mother would have loved a picture like that. She had promised them who knows how many ice creams to be still and quiet just for the moment of a photo, but in the end on the wall had ended up the one in which one of his brothers was intent on jumping on his shoulders, his sister facepalming herself. A photo that was certainly imperfect to unfamiliar eyes, but it had always been his favourite because despite everything there wasn't a person portrayed there without a smile on their face.
"You want to know why I'm here?" he speaks pretending for a few more moments to study those frames as he sees the reflection of her looking back at him.
"I just- you come to the hospital late at night, you show up here knowing Ben isn't here... and please don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful that you're here or about everything else. But I want to know what you're doing. What we're doing. I put myself in it really because I don't know what I'm doing"
"Why didn't you tell Ben about us?" he asks instead and the question catches her by surprise.
"Us?"
"About the fact that we talk almost every day, that we're...friends"
"I-I don't know. I guess it never came up" she says absentmindedly, placing the baby in the carrier next to the couch and then sitting down and looking back at him not far away. "I guess I didn't want to be asked many questions"
"It's the same for me. I just- I don't want to explain too much just yet"
Somehow during all those months they had implied they wanted to keep everything to themselves. Texts, conversations and everything. They had kept their relationship hidden as if it were forbidden, almost as if someone might have objected to whatever that was, with the true and only intention of savouring it without intrusion as much as possible. They might have already been aware of it or continued to pretend they didn't understand, but by the end of the day they had done the same thing unconsciously.
"I want to do what I feel. But I definitely don't want to push you into doing something you don't want to do" in a moment he's on the couch, sitting across from her. He reaches out with the intention of placing a hand on her leg and giving her some comfort but he thinks better of it and stops it just before he can actually touch her, withdrawing his hand and placing it on his own leg instead.
And then it's a moment, he feels his shirt being tugged slightly and his lips against Evelyn's. It doesn't take him long to realize and return that kiss, his hands going almost automatically to wrap one around her waist and one at the base of her neck. And that's what makes her wince and pull away. When their gazes meet again he can catch a sudden flash of panic in her eyes when what she's done finally sinks in. And he already inevitably understands how it will end.
He's not surprised in fact when she stands up putting even more space between them, when she asks him to leave.
"No" he thunders in a firm voice, "I don't want to. I can't just leave you like this Eve"
"Please" she murmurs running her hands through her hair and tugging at them slightly, "god I wish I had never met you" she thinks aloud and something inside him breaks even though he knows she's talking out of panic, even though only moments before she said otherwise.
He tries to move closer but she reaches her hands forward putting space between their bodies, "Please, please Jack. Just go. I'll be fine" she pleads softly and he stays in place for a moment pondering what to do before giving up.
----
It took a whole week and something more for me to finally be satisfied with this chapter. In fact, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise in advance if I miss any appointments from now on, I have run out of chapters and it's not exactly the most ideal time to write at the moment. But I'll try. Anyway hope you like it! x
Tag: @alexajanecollins @emwritesfootball @rosie7703
Chapter 16
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flirting-with-psychology · 4 years ago
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1. I own a ferret. 2. My best friend is my boyfriend 3. My best friend is a girl 4. I use the word super way too much 5. I am a boy 6. I like My Chemical Romance 7. I own more than 100 CDs 8. I like discussing politics 9. I collect state quarters 10. The Legend of Zelda is my favorite video game. 11. I have Cingular 12. I love MAC makeup 13. I smoke too much 14. I own more than 5 bandanas 15. My favorite movie is Kill Bill 16. I watched Lamb Chop when I was young 17. I have my ears gauged 18. I can do HTML without guidance 19. I watch Spongebob Squarepants regularly. 20. I go to the movies at least once a week 21. I play guitar or bass 22. I love Elvis 23. I’ve had a mo/bi/trihawk before 24. I have met my favorite band 25. I like to hardcore dance 26. Something’s outside my window 27. I believe in ghosts 28. I do drugs regularly 29. I am straightedge 30. My favorite feature about myself is my lips 31. I have never consumed alcohol 32. I want a tattoo. 33. My favorite actor is Will Ferrell. 34. I have seen Conan O'Brien live. 35. I hate MTV 36. I used to watch Cheaters every week 37. I have my own vaccuum 38. Frank Sinatra is awesome 39. I sleep with a stuffed animal 40. I am scared of werewolves 41. I watch hockey regularly 42. I am originally from New York 43. I own an iPod 44. Some people aren’t funny. 45. I hate school. 46. My favorite vegetable is lettuce. 47. Tickle fights are fun. 48. I am currently unemployed. 49. I have my license 50. I hate spelling mistakes 51. I love Spanish class 52. I live in a big city 53. I have been to the Grand Canyon 54. I listen to music to fall asleep 55. I watch TV to fall asleep 56. I only get a few hours of sleep each night 57. I’m relatively innocent. 58. I am a size 3 or smaller 59. I’m bored. 60. Purple is my favorite color. 61. I hate flossing 62. I have a car. 63. I believe in God 64. I’m in love. 65. I used to love Unwritten Law. 66. Reno 911 is my favorite show. 67. There is a mini stapler on my computer desk. 68. Cuddling’s my favorite. 69. For sure. 70. I have a flip phone 71. I love my handwriting 72. I own a Louis Vuitton handbag 73. I want to be an astronaut. 74. I love the song Dragostea Din Tei 75. 50 Cent is not talented 76. I like scanners better than digital cameras. 77. I own at least one Punk-O-Rama CD 78. My room is sound proof. 79. I’m 5'5 or less 80. Lying pisses me off 81. I backstab people. 82. I have been in a fist fight. 83. I have PaintShop Pro. 84. It’s almost midnight 85. My nightlight is cracked 86. I only listen to Dashboard Confessional when I’m sad 87. And I feel like a pansy when I do so 88. I hate metal 89. I’m in a band. 90. Napoleon Dynamite is annoying now. 91. I love hickeys 92. I want to lose weight 93. My favorite channel is the Food Network. 94. I don’t have a CD burner. 95. Pixar is stupid except for the Incredibles 96. I own an apartment/house 97. I am engaged. 98. My computer’s a Gateway. 99. I hate driving. 100. I like watching boys sleep. =========================== 01. I miss someone right now 02. I don’t watch much TV these days 03. I love olives 04. I love sleeping 05. I own lots of books 06. I wear glasses or contact lenses 07. I love to play video games 08. I’ve tried marijuana 09. I’ve watched porn movies 10. I have been in a threesome 11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship 12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy 13. I have acne free skin usually 14. I like and respect Al Sharpton 15. I curse frequently 16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year 17. I have a hobby 18. I’ve been told I can suck the chromes off a trailer hitch. 19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me 20. I’m smart 21. I’ve never broken someone’s bones 22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal 23. I hate the rain 24. I’m paranoid at times 25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scars. 26. I need money right now! 27. I love Sushi 28. I talk really, really fast sometimes 29. I have fresh breath in the morning 30. I have semi-long hair 31. I have lost money in Las Vegas 32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister 33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S. 34. I shave my legs 35. I have a twin 36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past 37. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D. 38. I like the way that I look sometimes 39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months 40. I know how to do cornrows 41. I am usually pessimistic 42. I have a lot of mood swings 43. I think prostitution should be legalized 44. I think Britney Spears is hot 45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past 46. I have a hidden talent 47. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. 48. I think that I’m popular 49. I am currently single 50. I have kissed someone of the same sex 51. I enjoy talking on the phone 52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants 53. I love to shop. 54. I would rather shop than eat 55. I would classify myself as ghetto. 56. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders 57. I’m obsessed with my Livejournal 58. I don’t hate anyone. 59. I’m a pretty good dancer 60. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington 61. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother 62. I have a cell phone 63. I believe in God/ a higher being. 64. I watch MTV/Vh1 on a daily basis 65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months 66. I love drama. 67. I have never been in a real romantic relationship before 68. I’ve rejected someone before 69. I currently have a crush on someone 70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life 71. I want to have children in the future 72. I have changed a diaper before 73. I’ve called the cops on a friend before 74. I bite my nails 75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club 76. I’m not allergic to anything 77. I have a lot to learn 78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger 79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest “Friday” movie 80. I am sometimes shy around the opposite sex 81. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message 82. I have at least 5 away messages saved 83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before 84. I have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past 85. I own the “South Park” movie 86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal 87. When I was a kid I played “the birds and the bees” with a neighbor or chum 88. I enjoy some country music 90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza 91. I watch soap operas whenever I can 92. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist 93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career 94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all 95. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story” 96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy 97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it 98. I have dated a close friend’s ex 99. I’m happy as of this moment 100. I was born in the 80s but I am truly a child of the 90s  101. I have slapped john dasaro and chris burke in the face..on the same night 102. I haven’t showered in two days… and I like it. 103. i own every f***er here 104. I procrastinate all the time 105. I’m a nerd 106. I LOVE the movie The Wedding Singer. 107. i hate corn. 108. i’ve attended the rocky horror picture show 109. i’ve never seen Bambi the movie 110. Thinking about the future terrifies me 111. Without music there would be no point in living. 112. If I could change one thing about myself I would 113. If someone of the same sex liked me, I would date them. 114. I went to the mall today for 5 hours ================================ Would do Have Done
001. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 002. Swam with wild dolphins 003. Climbed a mountain *004. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 005. Been inside the Great Pyramid 006. Held a tarantula. *007. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 008. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it. 009. Hugged a tree *010. Done a striptease 011. Bungee jumped *012. Visited Paris 013. Watched a lightning storm at sea *014. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise several times *015. Seen the Northern Lights 016. Gone to a huge sports game 017. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa *018. Grown and eaten your own vegetables *019. Touched an iceberg *020. Slept under the stars 021. Changed a baby’s diaper 022. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon *023. Watched a meteor shower *024. Gotten drunk on champagne *025. Given more than you can afford to charity 026. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 027. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 028. Had a food fight 029. Bet on a winning horse 030. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 031. Asked out a stranger 032. Had a snowball fight 033. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 034. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 035. Held a lamb 036. Organized and planned a surprise party for a loved one *037. Taken a midnight skinny dip 038. Taken an ice cold bath 039. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 040. Seen a total eclipse 041. Ridden a roller coaster 042. Hit a home run 043. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 044. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking *045. Adopted an accent for an entire day 046. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 047. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment *048. Had two hard drives for your computer *049. Visited all 50 states 050. Loved your job for all accounts *051. Taken care of someone who was really sick *052. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 053. Had amazing friends 054. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country *055. Watched wild whales 056. Stolen a sign 057. Backpacked in Europe *058. Taken a road-trip 059. Rock climbing 060. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice *061. Midnight walk on the beach 062. Sky diving *063. Visited Ireland 064. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love 065. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them *066. Visited Japan 067. Bench pressed your own weight 068. Milked a cow 069. Alphabetized your records 070. Pretended to be a superhero 071. Sung karaoke 072. Lounged around in bed all day 073. Protested something you feel strongly against 074. Scuba diving *075. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye 076. Kissed in the rain 077. Played in the mud 078. Played in the rain *079. Gone to a drive-in theater 080. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret *081. Visited the Great Wall of China 082. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 083. Dropped Windows in favor of something better 084. Started a business 085. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 086. Toured ancient sites 087. Taken a martial arts class 088. Swordfought for the honor of a woman 089. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight *090. Gotten married 091. Been in a movie 092. Crashed a party 093. Loved someone you shouldn’t have *094. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 095. Gotten divorced 096. Started an office war 097. Gone without food for 5 days 098. Made cookies from scratch 099. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an “expert" 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Made out in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage 110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark *113. Drank an entire 6 pack by yourself *114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie *116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved all of your hair off *120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone 123. Bounced a check 124. Performed in theatre 125. Read - and understood - your credit report *126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy *128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour *129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken a bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived 140. Wrote articles for a large publication 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone’s heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a TV game show 149. Broken a bone 150. Killed a human being *151. Gone on an African photo safari 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery 159. Ridden on a passenger train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states *165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime *173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Parasailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one "important” author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. …and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt *187. Skipped all your school reunions 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196: Dyed your hair blue 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested ====================== 1. I have self-mutilated before. 2. I still love the song Dragostea Din Tei 3. I used to like New Kids on the Block 4. The 80s was funny. 5. I have realtones enabled on my cellular phone. 6. Public bathrooms scare me 7. I have keys on my belt 8. I’m not wearing a belt 9. I hate writing 10. I hate reading 1. I love compilation CDs 12. My favorite teachers have all been guys 13. I think Bad Religion’s only been around for ten or so years 14. I don’t know who Bad Religion is. 15. I don’t wear my hood unless it’s raining 16. I enjoy smaller clubs rather than big ones 17. I’ve put a song on repeat for more than 8 hours 18. I have sound on my computer  19. Someone wants my hiney. 20. My mom loves Elvis 21. I have my own computer 22. I live on the east coast 23. My favorite animal is a kangaroo 24. I’m on vacation 25. I don’t own a pair of ripped jeans 26. I am very insecure somewhat 27. I love to dance 28. I curse way too much. 29. I choose the pansy way and star out my curse words (f*ck) 30. I feel dumb because I was just called a pansy 31. I have a flatscreen computer 32. I collect something. 33. I’m married 34. I won’t date someone who’s smaller than me smaller, as in also shorter? 35. Brass knuckles are the shit. 36. I own a hand puppet 37. I write with blue pens 38. I wear eye makeup almost every day 39. I wish I lived somewhere other than here 40. I don’t own a band shirt. Not yet anyway.. 41. I love techno. 42. I have my nipples pierced 43. I’m shitty at wrapping presents 44. I know someone in the KKK 45. I’m racist/anti-semitist. 46. I don’t know what those mean. 47. I love life most of the time 48. I have posters all over my room 49. I’ve never been a camera whore with someone.. And I want to. 50. I’m halfway done 51. I wish I lived in the 80s 52. I know what the term borgie means 53. I’m interested in social hierarchy. 54. I love music videos. 55. I have a DVD player 56. I’m drunk right now 57. I’m listening to music 58. I have a big screen TV 59. I have an STD 60. I know the singer of the Clash’s name 61. The only IM program I have is AIM 62. I skateboard regularly 63. I live on the north side of town 64. I have been to Alaska 65. I’ve worn a cowboy hat 66. I watch late night infomercials for retarded, unnecessary things 67. I LOVE DOING THE DEATH GROWL TO MY FAVORITE METAL SONGS. 68. That last question was dumb. 69. I know what the word “peligroso” means in English 70. I speak another language fluently 71. I’ve been in a limo 72. I own a bong 73. My lungs hurt 74. I know someone who’s committed suicide 75. I’ve got a six pack and I don’t need you! 76. I know what band sung the above line 77. I like strong boys. 78. I’m sick right now 79. I know someone who’s currently enlisted in the army 80. I do not own a color phone 81. My birthday is in September 82. I hate mall cops 83. I hate most cops in general 84. I’m wearing blush 85. I live in an apartment 86. I’m still in high school. 87. I own something from Victoria’s Secret 88. I don’t know a boy that wears girls pants 89. I’ve had the same best friend since I was 8. 90. Brownies are my favorite 91. So is cake 92. I’ve heard the song “Looks Good in Leather” 93. I own some sort of propaganda, fake or real 94. I deny the Holocaust happened 95. Kisses are my favorite sign of affection 96. I need to charge my phone 97. My purse could pass for a suitcase 98. I take birth control 99. I only buy what’s fashionable
1. I love bolding 2. I know someone named Mimi 3. I hate my old best friend 4. My favorite alcoholic drink is Jack n Coke 5. I have a digital camera 6. I’m talking to at least one person online 7. I like watching college basketball 8. I have never moved. 9. I have at least one cat 10. I have at least one dog 11. I’m going to see a movie tonight maybe 12. I make my own AIM icons 13. I’m in pain 14. I watch more than five shows a day 15. I love the Cure 16. My parents like some of the same music I do 17. I have never been to the dentist 18. I listen to the radio 19. I do my own laundry 20. I’ve made at least one article of clothing 21. I have/want something on my face pierced 22. I go to at least one concert a week 23. I’ve written a story 24. I’ve dyed my hair every color of the rainbow 25. I own a Grand Theft Auto game 26. My favorite pattern is camoflauge 27. I know someone who does/did cocaine 28. I have too many game systems 29. I love scary movies 30. I hate scary movies 31. I’ve had sex more than 5 times 32. My favorite chips are Lays Original 33. I think butter is unhealthy 34. I hate the Osbournes 35. I used to have dreadlocks 36. I need to take medicine for something 37. I suffer from insomnia 38. I speak ebonics 39. I’ve gambled 40. And won 41. I have at least one gay friend 42. I like going to pet stores 43. I own a dog toy 44. And I don’t have a dog 45. I own more than ten candles 46. I’ve smoked a cigarette in the shower before 47. I’ve flunked a class 48. I listen to music every day 49. I have more than one nickname 50. I wear pajamas when I feel like it 51. I’m wearing more than one jewelry item 52. I haven’t washed my hair in a week 53. I watch the Grammy’s every year 54. Along with the Macy’s Parade 55. My favorite season is winter 56. I have seen the All American Rejects live 57. And I’ve enjoyed it. 58. Boobs are nothing special 59. I go swimming at least once a week in summer. 60. I have a pool. 61. I’ve gone skinnydipping 62. I’ve played strip poker 63. And lost 64. I want a nautical star tattoo 65. My cell phone turns off when it’s charging 66. And it pisses me off 67. I used to buy my entire wardrobe from Hot Topic 68. I’ve been to albinoblacksheep.com 69. My favorite subject is History 70. And/or math 71. I am a republican 72. I am a democrat 73. I listen to the Used occasionally 74. I have been to the Warped Tour 75. I am part Mexican 76. I am part German 77. All of my grandparents are still alive. 79. I love bowling 80. I know that there is a South Park, Colorado 81. I love Dairy Queen 82. Sometimes I think I’m crazy 83. I own a Moffatts CD 84. I own a Backstreet Boys CD 85. I want plastic surgery 86. Operation, operation, snip and tie, snip and tie 87. I know what song that line is from 88. I have killed something [bugs!] 89. I’ve never had a Nokia cell phone 90. I’m never sarcastic 91. Light eyes turn me on 92. I have never been to a foreign country 93. I don’t eat enough 94. I own illegal weaponry 95. I know someone who has overdosed on something 96. And lived to tell about it 97. I don’t own a pair of mittens 98. I love the heat 99. I’ve never had a steady boyfriend/gf 100. I want to makeout.
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hispydamy618 · 4 years ago
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She-Ra and the Princesses of Power x Spaceling: Glitch in Space
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Summary: After opening the portal, it tears a hole across the dimensions giving an entrance for the New York heroes: Utopix Jones, Georgine Wilson, Gabriel Rodriguez, Oliver Schmidt and Makena Jones, to fall right through. Together, they'll need to recreate the disaster that brought them to Etheria alongside the Princess' Rebellion in order to go back home and fix what was broken... but not before defeating the obstacles on the way.
Disclaimer: Contains spoilers for She-Ra’s season 3 finale and Spaceling’s issue 10-12 events.
(Thank you so much to @catlliecal​ for co-writing this with me!)
Masterlist: Chapter 1 (you’re here!) // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7
Word Count: 3.2k 
Check Spaceling out!
Chapter 1: And We Must Be Brave
Sunrise in Ethernia was always a sight to behold, bringing out the beauty of the land. Even the Horde infested Fright Zone looked nice at this time of day. The Kingdom of Snows sparkled like a diamond, the rays of the sun making the ice shine. The flowers in Plumeria reach up to soak in the light, opening up their petals and showing off their color. Salinaes' waters began to twinkle in the light as they kept hitting the city walls. Shadows stretched over Dryl, the sun showing off the kingdom's grand architecture. The hidden kingdom of Mystacor danced in the sky, floating in place as the sun came up and passed them. None of these places compared to Bright Moon at sunrise. every nook and cranny came alive with energy and life, glimmering with hope for all to see. 
Which did not include Adora, who was currently fast asleep. 
She began squirming around, trying to grab something without waking up. Unfortunately, she squirmed around too much and fell out of her bed and onto the floor.
"Urg..." Adora regretfully opened up her eyes, groaning and moaning as she tried to get a sense of her surroundings. Hadn't she gotten over the whole 'falling out of the very tall bed thing' already? According to today, apparently not.
"Oh, I didn't think it could get worse..." she slowly stood up and began stretching, trying to lessen the aches running up and down her. That last fight with Catra really put her through the ringer, even putting aside the whole realty-crumbling-as-far-as-the-eye-can-see fact. Falling onto the floor only aggravated those pains. A hot bath was certainly in order, especially if the First Ones wanted to go over more physical combat skills with She-Ra later on.
Adora let out a huge yawn before she felt her a couple of her bones pop. Going back to sleep now was pointless since the sun was up. She'd only get a few more moments before Bow came in telling her not to sleep the day away, followed up by Glimmer teleporting onto her bed and yanking the sheets off.
"Morning, Adora."
"Morning, Glimmer. Good to see you– what are you doing in here?"
Adora rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't imagining things. There Glimmer was, sitting on the window seat, looking over Bright Moon.
"Oh, you know," Glimmer shrugged. "Just... thinking."
"What kind of thinking?" Adora plopped down on the other side of the window seat.
"Just normal thinking about normal stuff."
"Right, normal thinking. Not processing-what-just-happened thinking."
"Totally not that!" Glimmer's voice cracked on the last word.The two sat in silence, watching what remained of the sunrise.
"You know," Adora began, "if you wanna talk about it, I'm here to listen."
"Not really," Glimmer pulled her legs to her chest.
"You sure?" Adora asked, trying to push the envelope as much as she could.
"I'm sure... I don't wanna think about it unless I have to."
"Got it..." Adora clicked her tongue. She shuffled around a little, the air heavy with unspoken words. It's not like Adora could blame Glimmer. Even if Angelica was alive, she was sealed away. Sure, Etheria was safe from being ripped apart by space-time itself, but nothing felt right. It had barely been a day and the lack of one prominent face was already very noticeable. While Adora had never had a good mother, she couldn't help but think about how heartbroken Glimmer must be.
Hopefully she would open up soon.
And yet, dozens of dimensions away, another planet dealt with a less disastrous situation. Most specifically at New York... on a young girl's house. Makena's.
"Make yourselves at home!" Makena smiled at her two guests, Georgine and Utopix, while trying to unlock the door. 
"Oh, this'll be fun!" Utopix excitedly waited by Georgine's side, who kept him close at all times. It hadn't been weeks since she decided to confess her love to him by printing her lips on his... yet she decided to protect him with such ferocity and valor. 
"Why, hello!" Gabriel greeted the two lovebirds, leaning near Oliver's grumpy self.
"Hello, guys!" Utopix immediately reacted at his interaction by happily waving at him, unlike Georgine who glanced away at the discomfort of noticing Oliver there. Not that she cared, but she'd rather not deal with it right now.
"Oh, shoot..." she spoke out like a curse. 
Hours have passed and Georgine had explained the uncomfortable situation that Utopix and her had to face earlier that week: a doppelgänger barging in her house and intimidating Utopix... letting him know of his existence. 
"A doppelgänger?" Makena asked in concern.
"Yeah... We saw him a few days ago," Georgine replied, keeping her head low.
"What did he look like?" Makena added another question as she handed her a pencil and a blank piece of paper for her to sketch the stranger's face. She knew that such ability was one of Georgine's skills, so it'd be easy for her to try and replicate the unwanted individual's features. It wasn't that hard to remember it either. She had checked Uto's, as she called him, video log to understand what had happened that night. 
"Kinda like Uto, but his hair was..." Georgine allowed the pencil to do the work for her.
After she was done sketching, she allowed her body to rest against the chair she was sitting on. Makena's hand rested on Georgine's shoulders as she contemplated the illustration. 
"Oh." Makena didn't know what else to expect. The illustration looked quite like Utopix, just a tad bit different.
"Every good villain needs a name!" Gabriel interfered into their conversation as he prepared a chess board to keep Oliver entertained. "What about 'Otu'?" Gabriel's imagination run wild as the doppelgänger-needs-to-kill-the-hero situation was placed upon him. It bothered Georgine at times, but for once she'd let it pass.
"I guess so..." she said, holding the illustration near her face. "Takara must have sent him to take us off guard." Georgine assumed. "'Otu' managed to turn off Sabrina..." she added.
"That's awful..." Makena's concern instantly invaded her once more. "I-Is she okay? Oliver can fix her!!"
"Enlighten me," Georgine held Sabrina's... body up which was covered by a blanket which easily slipped off.
Oliver immediately analyzed the problem and decided to reveal his diagnosis. "If she's turned off, then she'll eventually turn back on. We can't force it." 
Utopix's curiosity jumped at his words. "How do you know that?" It's not that he was amused that a foreigner knew basic Sardkenofian technology. It was the fact that he quickly came to a conclusion without hesitating... why? Oliver nearly stuttered, his head trying to come up with an excuse to satisfy the robot's curiosity.
"Checkmate!" Gabriel shouted; easily winning the chess game that Oliver barely paid attention to. 
"Let's just get to fight practice already." Georgine merely seemed to suggest.
Once they were all at the bluntly painted basement, Georgine began wrapping some sport tape around her knuckles. 
"Tsk... Mine is a lot better," Oliver commented on Makena's basement, as if there was supposed to be something more than just that.
"Lil' brat." Georgine shook her head as a mere reaction. "Either way, just watch and learn for now."
Makena giggled at their interaction, attracting her sweet kitten Smokey who simply posed by her. "Aww, Smokey..." she caressed him, attempting to make him sleepy.
But miles above the sky, that intimidating doppelgänger was being submitted to horrid punishment. His skin barely holding itself together after the many punches and slaps that Takara exposed him to. His target of destroying Utopix Alle Jones had been consumed by the slightest feeling in his non-existent heart. But he hadn't shown any sign of it when he paid him a visit, so what was really going on?
"I gave you a target and you failed miserably, 36." Takara angrily spoke to "Otu", a.k.a. as Experiment 36, merely giving the idea that she had tried this sort-of thing before. "Hit it." Takara ordered Blu, her other henchman, to activate the oh-so-painful electricity that ran across Otu's body mercilessly. "I hope that you don't disappoint me again," her voice delivering a statement and a threat.
"Ma'am... It seems that the squad has moved location." Blu pointed out as he observed the main screen.
"Where are they right now?"
"Ameritania Hotel."
"Okay, 36." Takara glanced at him, who was trying his best to recover from such treatment. "This'll be your chance to prove that you're not useless," she said, assigning him his next mission. "Make sure Uto suffers." Her usage of Georgine's nickname for Utopix in Otu's ears made him tremble, fully engaging into his armor.
The gang, unbothered by any of the events that had happened during that week, decided to sneak in one of the bedrooms at Ameritania Hotel, one of the most prestigious hotels in New York. They didn't complain... Georgine had done some very sketchy in the past: breaking into cars of her friends' exes, graffiting a bully's garage door, among other things.
"How come that they let us in?" Utopix watched the rain slipping down the window's glass.
"The receptionist's a friend of mine." Georgine replied, as if their presence wasn't a problem that could said person fired.
"Oh, that's cool!" Utopix united to the unbothered feeling that the others were in. 
"So, why are we here exactly?"
"You kidding? Free food!" Gabriel cheered up, as Oliver was munching on a couple of chips from a big bowl.
Suddenly, a lightning stroke in the sky, catching Utopix's attention but also making him flinch. Georgine found it adorable. She'd assume that Sardkenof had a climate similar to Earth's, but it seemed that he was mostly bothered by the sound than anything else. 
"It happens when it rains," she simply commented on it, placing a hand on his shoulder for reassurance.
"Well, it's horrible..." Utopix caressed his other arm in discomfort, despite feeling Georgine's.
"It doesn't have to be if you don't want it to." Georgine's fingers gently brushed his hand, meaning to intertwine said fingers with his. 
"You look so adorable together!" Makena's head popped from underneath the sheets she was hiding in. 
"Oh, shut up. We were too." Georgine objected, recalling the time that they used to share said feelings back in their youth.
"Earthlings date the same gender?" Utopix learned something new from their culture, to say the least.
"Yeah, but some are picky about it." Georgine added to said information.
But their heartfelt moment was interrupted by a blurry dark maroon sight from the other side of the window. "Uh, guys... Is that who I think it is?" Gabriel commented on it.
"Oh no..." Georgine instinctively placed her arm in front of Utopix, despite the other not having entered the building yet.
How horrid was it for Utopix to be able to contemplate Otu's smirk from afar, letting him know that something was going to be wrong, that something was going to happen. Either to him, or his new friends. As if called by a cue, Utopix's arms were wrapped around Georgine's chest to stop her from any sudden movement. 
"Goddamn it. It's that punk again!" Georgine leaned against the window, bringing Utopix forward with her. 
Makena's motherly nature kicked in. "Georgie, language!"
Takara thought that she had them all under her grasp, that she'd finally be crowned victorious after many weeks of wanting to eliminate what was, supposedly, left of the Jones family. But not just yet. Before Oliver could create any plan of defense, a big blast of lightning had hit the sky once again, making Utopix flinch yet again and refuge on Georgine's strong arms. 
And suddenly... silence. 
The gang took a better look at the sky from the window. Four of them knew what New York's weather was like, and it clearly wasn't like that. Seconds later, a minuscule purple light appeared on the center of gray cloudy sky, obliterating every piece of darkness 'round every corner in seconds. 
"What in the name of the sweet heck is that!?" Gabriel shouted in both fear and excitement. 
Oliver quickly jumped to a conclusion. Again. "It's a wormhole... A portal! Get out of here! Now!" He pressed a button on his smart watch; equipping Makena, Gabriel and Georgine with special gear that they had grabbed beforehand.
Georgine immediately scooped Utopix in her arms, running downstairs and to the hotel's entrance. As they joined the sea of people evacuating the hotel, the bright light shone brighter, vacuuming everything on its way. Cars, signs, trees... even people.
"Makena!" Georgine shouted in desperation, witnessing how her friends were lifted up into the sky and disappearing into the hole in the sky. Her feet meant to stick to the ground to the best of her ability, but a fire hydrant had prevented her from doing so. 
"W-Where are we going!?" Utopix's eyes were closed, his hands gripped onto Georgine's back whenever he felt their weight being lighted. His eyes shredding tears, fearing what might happen next. 
"Just... close your eyes." Georgine, out of options, embraced him closely as their bodies entered the purple-esque portal.
Otu observed in shock, until a dreadful voice in his communicator snapped him back to reality. "Well!? What are you waiting for, 36? Follow them!" Takara demanded from him, meaning to sacrifice him if it meant that the others had been obliterated by whatever there was in that portal. Hesitantly, but firmly, Otu rocketed from the roof he was standing on and onto the remaining waves of the terrifying portal. 
And just like that, the portal was closed. As if someone had pulled a switch and turned it off... or more likely, a sword.
The tan-haired girl had waited for a light... a soft voice that'd wake her up saying 'Welcome to Heaven', or anything at all. Instead, her eyes had opened to a soft colored sky. Gentle chirps and water waves made her realize that she was somewhere else. A pair of blinks helped her double-vision adjust to a strange one-eyed creature that shouted once it notice that she was conscious to which she yelled and slapped it off, making it run off to the purple-tainted trees. "W-What is...?" her hands felt the sharp glass around her but also alerted her of something else. "Utopix... Uto! UTO!"
"G-Georgie!" Utopix's frighted voice cried out from one of the trees, holding onto one of its branches for dear life. "H-Help..."
"It's okay, baby. Just let go," her arms were open-wide to catch him in case he fell.
Utopix's eyes widened at the idea and immediately shook his head in disapproval. "H-Hmm!"
"It's okay, sweetie. I'll catch you, I promise." 
"G-Georg-AH!!" 
Without any more words escaping from his mouth, the branch decided to break. Thankfully, his loved one had catch him perfectly, avoiding any accidents. "Are you okay, lovely?" Her emerald eyes stared into his with an expression of I-told-you-so, nearly smirking at his reaction. 
"D-Don't do that..." 
"Do what? Hmm?" Her nose ran up his sensitive neck, occasionally peppering it with gentle kisses, making him giggle as a soft tone of green appeared on his cheeks. 
"Utopix? Georgine?" Oliver grunted as he massaged his head from the rough landing. "W-What? Where are we?"
"OLIVER!" Gabriel ran up to him, hugging his sides, not wanting to let go. "I thought you were dead! I thought I was dead!"
"What the- uh! Let go of me!"
"Never!"
Georgine snickered at their somewhat-sweet reunion, placing Utopix to a side as she helped Makena get up from the strangely colored grass. "Are you okay?"
"Y-Yes... Where are we?"
"I have no idea," she clenched her fists as she observed the unntreathening space. "We better get moving." 
Once again, Georgine scooped Utopix from the ground, keeping him close to her warm chest. "Sorry, I should've asked."
"N-No. It's okay. I-I like it."
Her voice lowly hummed, turning into a chuckle. Her face leaned once again near his, planting a kiss on his triangle-painted cheek. Once she started walking, the others followed closed by... not noticing who had followed them.
"36. State your location," Takara's face appeared on Otu's wrist communicator.
"Unknown." Otu quietly spoke. Probably one of the few times he was allowed to do so.
"If you survived, then that means they did too! Follow them and wait for instructions. Is that clear?" 
Otu took a deep breath. Despite being born a few days ago, his opinion of Takara had quickly worsened with time. "Yes." He immediately ended their interaction, making sure to go unnoticed  as he sneaked around the shadows of the forest.
Eventually, the five individuals reached the entrance of the gorgeous golden castle, unsure of what to expect. "Halt there!" General Juliet stopped them from going any further. "What is your business in Bright Moon?"
"Bright Moon?" Georgine concluded that that's where they have ended up at.
"We just want to know what's going on," Makena kindly asked. "I don't think we're supposed to be here."
"Think!?" The guard seemed to nearly fly away when she flinched. "What is that even supposed to-?" 
"Calm down, general." A shadowy figure approached the entrance, but didn't seem to change any of its appearance once it stepped into the light... Shadow Weaver. "I'll take it from here. You go fetch... Princess Glimmer." The general left after letting out a long sigh and doing as she was told. "I don't take orders from you. I shall look for Bow who can look for Glimmer with more ease." Shadow Weaver rolled her eyes upon her statement.
Georgine's trust pattern was instantly altered upon Shadow Weaver's attitude. The way she spoke, the manner of her walking, how her hair swung around like a sharpen knife... she had seen it all before. Her hands gently gripped Utopix's thigh and arm... once he felt it, he looked up at her, then at Shadow Weaver. A similar pattern had fallen onto him as well... oh, brother. 
"I apologize for the unfelt welcoming, though I must ask... what brings you here so unexpectedly?" her dark eyes narrowed at that last word."I think we'll wait for the princess' arrival to discuss that matter," Georgine refrained from answering the question. Her hands kept Utopix even closer to her than ever.
"Very well, then. I suggest you wait in the throne room unless you wanna be seen by... unexpected guests." Shadow Weaver turned around, leaving them to their amusement. 
Unexpected guests? Georgine then considered that there might have been something else in that region even worse than her... Not liked she trusted the other's jurisdiction, but she'd want to avoid any casualties for Utopix's sake, so she entered the palace after the others had gone in.
"Oh. My. Gosh." Bow nearly jumped on his toes as General Juliet gave him the news. "New people!? L-Like- what? Horde soldiers? Princesses?" he then gasped as an epiphany hit him. "What if they're here from a broken dimension and want to take our souls!?"
"Bow! Just go find the princess, please! Once we know what's going on with... them, I'll decide what to do."
"Okay!" he then stopped his tracks and turned around to see her. "...why are you making me get Glimmer and not you?"
"Just GO!" Juliet seemed to nearly spit fire at him.
After Bow finally snapped from his fanboying illusions, he breathed deeply before entering Glimmer's room, noticing Adora and Glimmer standing near each other... and rightfully so. 
"Uh, guys...  there's some people here that I think you may want to meet."
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danyellelovessurveys · 4 years ago
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lets get personal.
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
When You’re Looking Like That - Westlife
Hysteria - Def Leppard
Beautiful - Flickerstick
Hello My Love - Westlife
For What It’s Worth - Buffalo Springfield (covered by Anti-Flag)
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Michael Rosenbaum - Smallville
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
4: What do you think about most? Too much shit... because I have BAD anxiety.
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? Headed out.
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?  With
7: What’s your strangest talent? Pick up things on the floor with my toes.
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) Are crazy/ Are a pain in the ass.
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? Yes
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? 2005
11: Do you have any strange phobias? MANY
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? No
13: What’s your religion? Wiccan
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Chillin Out
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? They aren’t totally a band... but I have to say Westlife... if we are talking proper band, either Def Leppard or Avenged Sevenfold or Flickerstick
17: What was the last lie you told? Anytime I play nice with my dad
18: Do you believe in karma? Yes
19: What does your URL mean? Random Crap nickname.
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Weakness is my emotions, Strength... I have survived this long.
21: Who is your celebrity crush? It is actually a hockey player... Martin Necas of the Carolina Hurricanes
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Does sex in a hotub with other people in the room count??
23: How do you vent your anger?
24: Do you have a collection of anything? All kinds of things.
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Texting/ Messaging
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? No
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Chalkboards/ The Middle
28: What’s your biggest “what if”? What If the last 20 years never happened.
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Sure why not?
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. Table/ Couch
31: Smell the air. What do you smell? Ham
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? Oh there are so many!
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? East
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Nicky Byrne
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
36: Define Art. Something I just don’t get.
37: Do you believe in luck? Yes
38: What’s the weather like right now? Sunny early evening in the 50s.
39: What time is it? 7:14
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I don’t drive, though I have been in a couple benders....
41: What was the last book you read? The Secrets of Birthdays
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? No
43: Do you have any nicknames? Yeah
44: What was the last film you saw? Mom’s on a date with a vampire.
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Thyroid Storm, not an injury... (there are plenty of those) but the storm was the worst thing of my life.
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? When I was little
47: Do you have any obsessions right now? Always, I have OCD
48: What’s your sexual orientation? Straight, I like guys.
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? I am sure... but I don’t care
50: Do you believe in magic? Yes
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Yes
52: What is your astrological sign? Scorpio
53: Do you save money or spend it? Both
54: What’s the last thing you purchased? Coffee Creamer
55: Love or lust? I think one can turn to the other
56: In a relationship? I wish
57: How many relationships have you had? A few
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No
59: Where were you yesterday? Home..
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes, my bed jacket
61: Are you wearing socks right now? Yes
62: What’s your favourite animal? Giraffes, Manatees, Kitties
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Eyes, and a full flirt package
64: Where is your best friend? Not sure where she is
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
66: What is your heritage? 1/4 German 1/4 Dutch 1/2 crap  
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Almost asleep
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Duh
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yes
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Help that Pup
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? A - They would figure it out, from the look on my face/ B - Live it Up!/ C - Terrified
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Love
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Hello My Love & When You’re Looking Like That - Both Westlife
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? No Clue
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Trust
77: How can I win your heart? Play Hockey? I don’t know... changes with my moods
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? Huh?
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Getting my kitty Binx, even though he can be a pain in the ass.
80: What size shoes do you wear? 8 1/2
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
82: What is your favourite word? Fuck
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Mom
84: What is a saying you say a lot? Not really a phrase, more like a word... and that is Fuck.
85: What’s the last song you listened to? Roll Me Away - Bob Seger
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? Blue/ Pink/ Purple.
87: What is your current desktop picture? Ravenclaw wallpaper.
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? At this point in time, there is a good chance of that.
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Wat is  my true worst fear.
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Scream!
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? The power to make people/ animals live forever
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? HA HA.... Playing with the Serge.
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? The loss of my Kitty...
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Nicky from Westlife.
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? In a perfect world,  I would be going to see Westlife perform.
96: Do you have any relatives in jail? I have in the past.
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yes.
98: Ever been on a plane? Yes.
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? STAY THE FUCK HOME!
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starrybbarnes · 5 years ago
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high flying, pt. 3 | [b.b]
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x superhero!Reader
Summary: bucky has no memory of you using magic. certain teammates are catching on, but you’re standing your ground. trouble brews as you’re training yourself. 
Word Count: 1932 (more substance! i promise this one is worth it)
Author’s note: originally, this was supposed to be a 3 part thing, but i’m pretty sure there’s be 4 total. don’t worry I’ve tried to make these next two as long as possible, but also still entertaining. but, the main attraction is coming soon. as i’ve said before, i appreciate all of your feedback! :)
Warnings: more swearing, some more magic, and a cliffhanger.. maybe. I’ve sprinkled some fluff to make up for it. also if you know someone from mit, i apologize in advanced.
Part 1 Part 2
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Smack smack smack went your feet across the padding... It became mundane as you kept fighting the still punching bag, and much more tiring. 
While practicing some combat moves, you started thinking about the meeting. Surely, no one was able to identify you, but you’re sure as hell Steve and Bucky might have an inclination. And rightfully so, as you partially wiped the mind of a friend. 
You thought about the moment Bucky stared you down in the conference room, his mind trying to put two and two together, but alas couldn’t make a connection. Maybe he is that clueless, you thought to yourself.
However, if Steve is able to connect the dots as to why Bucky can’t remember certain moments of certain days, then you might be into some hefty trouble. And if he were to find out you casted a spell on his best friend, you might jeopardize your job.  
But at the same time, you thought about your own safety, your privacy. You weren’t ready to take on a huge role, much less when you’re not used to your powers. It was a tug and pull, but you were committed to letting everyone know once you had the capacity to control it. 
You were deep in thought when you felt yourself levitate slightly. It was a force of habit, but you let it happen, letting your thoughts occupy you.  
As you stood, er- floated, there while pondering, you heard the gym door open and you quickly grabbed a hold of the pull up bar. Making their way towards you is Steve and Bucky, both carrying duffle bags on their side. The boys stare at you incredulously as you’re holding onto the bar.
“How’s it hanging down there?” you half joked, as Steve rolled his eyes and Bucky was suppressing a smile. 
“Very funny,” Steve said, “we were looking for you all over, figured this might be the last place to look.” 
“Well,” you started, still on the pull-up bar, “your inclinations were correct.” 
Bucky eyed you, gears churning in his head, trying to see why you doing pull-ups felt… off. 
You sensed Bucky’s confusion as he stared at you just dangling from the bar, and so you thought fast. You fell on your knees as you abruptly let go of the bar and planted onto the floor. A loud oof was heard as Steve audibly gasped at the sight.
“I’m fine!” you said nonchalantly  as Bucky scooped you up and stood in front of you. 
Bucky shook his head and began to speak, “we came by to find you—”
“You came to find her,” Steve interrupted, “I just came to support Bucky because he’s always afraid to talk to ya.”
“That’s neither here nor there,” Bucky interjected, “but anyways, the team and I are headed out of the country for 5 days. Ireland, specifically. I think it’s business related. So we won’t be long.”
A slight hum escaped your mouth, nodding at the statement Bucky had said. “Look at you two, being business-y,” you joked as Bucky cracked a smile, while Steve rolled his eyes.
“Well, sweetheart, I’ll have you know I’m all business, all the time,” he added, earning a groan from you and Steve.
You stood in front of the duo. If anyone knew awkward, it’s definitely these two centenarians. Another moment of silence overcame the gym, as three of you just stared at each other, and you crossed your arms, waiting.  
“Oh, for god’s sake Buck,” Steve sighed, “Y/N, Bucky told me he was going to miss you and he didn’t know if you felt the same way.”
You raised your eyebrows at the duo, Bucky blushing ever so slightly and Steve looking more exasperated than usual. 
“Well,” you coughed, “Let Bucky know that I will miss the team equally… but, I’ll miss him slightly more.” 
Bucky smiled at the last comment and went to hug you. Steve came in for a hug too and broke away and said they should get going, as they shouldn’t be running late. Bucky slowly let go and sheepishly waved goodbye as the duo started to head out. 
As the two walked away, you carefully shot some magic their way, a safe travel spell, and he closed the door. You saw through the windows that Steve and Bucky  looked confused at the slight lavender aura around them, how they smelled of rose and vanilla all of sudden.
Steve shoots you a look through the window, and all you do is laugh and shrug. You go towards the back of the gym, and reveal your silver staff hiding in plain sight, and begin to twirl it. It begins to glow with its purple hue, and you start practicing with it.
Maybe they’ll figure it out, it doesn’t matter. But, it is kind of fun messing with the guys. 
。。
6:45 pm, 5 days later
The compound had been eerily quiet the past five days, and you were elated that your friends were coming back in a couple of hours. Most importantly, Bucky was coming back.
You promised yourself it was now the time to make a move. You pondered for hours with your stuffed animal and your best friend, the latter being slightly more responsive.
You also let your friend Betsy know that you have completely gotten a hang of your powers, and your friend suggested that you  might be ready to fight alongside the Avengers.
You hesitated at that suggestion. You were really good, but that’s only because you kept practicing in the simulation room at the gym. Sometimes you're thrown a curveball in the real world. But you knew you’d have the support of your friends whenever you’re crime fighting. 
Betsy asked about Bucky’s flight back. It left at around 7 this morning, so you predicted they might come around the afternoon. She commented that a normal flight from Ireland usually is 8 hours long, if there are no layovers. 
That means they should’ve arrived here at around 3. The quinjet is fairly punctual, and it isn’t like the team to be taking that long. Especially with the time differences, everyone would’ve been eager to come back home to sleep off the jet lag. 
You asked FRIDAY if there was any GPS location of the quinjet the team was boarded on, but oddly enough there wasn’t any. FRIDAY reported that the last signal was sent from Queens, which meant they were almost here. Flying from the city to upstate New York took an hour, tops. 
“This isn’t looking good,” you said to your friend with concern. Both of you kept throwing off ideas as to why there was a delay, when FRIDAY notified you of an incoming message.
You opened up the hologram and there said a message that read: In trouble. Top of building. Call backup. B. 
 “Call backup?” you questioned, “but there’s no one except me and Peter. All the other other Avengers were either with Steve or they’re doing other minor missions. And I’m pretty sure other agents don’t have the clearance to do this type of stuff… right?”
That only leaves once choice, Y/N, your friend commented. You’re gonna have to brave this out with Peter.
“Peter’s a child,” you argued.
When he wants to be, your friend interjects. He can put up a fight, I’ve seen him on the news. 
You keep weighing your options, when you hear a knock on the door. 
“Uh, Y/N?” Peter asked, “did you get that text from FRIDAY? I think the guys are in trouble. Most importantly your secret boyfriend is in trouble but that’s beside the point. I want to do this, but I’m by myself and I can’t do the saving by myself, I mean I can, but I need your help.”
Peter is dressed in his suit, minus the mask, and he peeks inside more to see you talking to your friend. You look at your friend, back to Peter, to the message, back to your friend, and then back to Peter. 
You opened your closet and then opened a secret drawer. You saw your suit, and next to it, your silver staff. 
“Peter,” you sighed, “Let’s grab a small jet and get to the bottom of this. Lord knows I’ve prepared myself for this.”
。。
As the jet got closer to the main city, you and Peter tried to intercept any signal or clue to find your friends. You put the jet on autopilot, and pulled up a map of the city to see the roofs of any tall building. 
You groaned slightly, “this is hopeless, there’s no way we can pinpoint a place quickly.” 
You wondered as to how a quinjet of such size can’t be detected by just plain eyesight. Either that, or it was time to get your vision checked out. 
Then Peter started to sense something: it was by a building on Liberty Street. He then pulled up a hologram and started zooming in on the roof of that building. It was difficult to see, but there was a ball of light sort of floating above the roof.
You were called over by Peter to check it out, and as the jet slowly started to get closer, and you pulled out some binoculars, you can vaguely recognize some burly men all bunch up together. 
“Peter, try to land on the roof that is two buildings over from that building,” you suggested. As the jet neared the roof, you decided to turn off the engines and used your magic to safely land the jet. It was no easy feat, but it was done. 
Getting out of the jet, you and Peter went towards the roof’s ledge that got as close as possible to the building with the floating light ball.
Using your binoculars once again, you got a clearer image of who was on top. 
It was the boys. And they were surrounded by a bunch of guys dressed in black, with one scrawny dude standing by a weird contraption. 
“That doesn’t look pretty,” Peter commented through his suit. His AI was explained to you and Peter that the scrawny was an ex-Stark employee, and the machine was used to keep the Avengers captive, while also a finding way to try and blow up the compound. Karen, the AI, proclaimed that the machine had major flaws and said it wouldn’t take much to take it down. 
“Can you tell Karen that while that sounds optimistic, there are also only two of us, and bunch of bad guys,” you groaned. This definitely wasn’t in a gym simulation.
“Sure... but,” Peter started, “we do have your powers, and my strength, and my ability to distract people. Also, I think it’s your time to shine, I think we’re both ready to do this.” 
You looked over to the other roof. You vaguely saw Bucky’s arm glistening in the sunlight. He looked confused and afraid. It looked like was looking upwards in every direction, trying to find any sign of backup. Luckily for him, it isn’t that far away.
“Peter, you’re right,” you replied. “And I think I have a surefire way to save our boys.”
You took your staff out of the sheath that was on your back. It slowly started to glow, and your whole demeanor changed. Now wasn’t the time to back down, it’s time to fight. And fight hard. 
“Karen, give us a rundown of our surroundings. I have a plan that will make sure than Peter and I can kick scrawny intern ass.”
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notimetoblog · 5 years ago
Text
Panic
Summary: Two little texts send your heart into a frenzy, and when the super soldier responsible for them doesn't reply, you just hope he’s still alive for him to hear exactly what you think of him. 
A/N: Hi hi!!! here’s a one shot for you guys!! I haven't posted one of these in a while so I truly hope you enjoy it! when I saw the texts online I knew I just had to write a fic around them for our favorite brunette super soldier lol. Thanks so much for reading!!
Link are being rude so if you’d like to read more of my stories search “stories by notimetoblog”
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You know panic. 
A failed parachute? You’ve experienced it and survived it. You thought that panic was enough to fill a lifetime. What could bring on more panic than freefalling from thousands of feet in the air with no means to break your fall? 
Surely nothing. 
Well, that’s what you had believed until you, again, lived and survived a mission gone wrong. Stupidly, you’d admit, you had turned off your comms to focus on the task at hand. Of course, this meant you missed all five of Steve’s attempts to warn you of previously unnoticed threats. To your defense, Steve really should do less talking over those things. Sure, he was lovely but having him in your ear for hours at a time was enough to drive anybody to the extreme.
The panic you experienced that time drew your blood cold. The unnoticed threats were pretty easily spotted when they were pointing guns at your face, each of the four men staring back at you more than ready to end you. Your instincts took over after that and the next thing you knew, you were being walked into the Quinjet a more than upset Steve again filling your ear with endless strings of words you just couldn’t and didn’t want to make out.
That panic you knew how to deal with. You knew once safe you could sit back, relax, and unwind.
But this current panic was beyond you.
You hold your phone in your cold hands, staring at the messages on the home screen.
Your ringer went off every night because if anybody enjoyed sleep, it was you. But that meant that you would wake up to voicemails, missed calls, and texts that were just waiting for you to get your day started. Nothing of importance was ever sent to your phone anyway. If there was an emergency, Steve had other ways to communicate them to you, and you knew he very much enjoyed getting to ring the alarms he had set up throughout your apartment. It was his form of payback for all the little things you did to him throughout the day.
This morning, though, you had not woken up to your usual texts, but to only two texts that were enough to make you want to scream.
Buck: I need advice (3:46 am)
Buck: never mind i already did the stupid thing (6:51 am)
For almost two hours Bucky had thought about doing something so incredibly stupid even he felt the need to call it that.
He often prided himself in his genius ideas, and sure, at times they had gotten you out of trouble. More often than not, though, those ideas resorted to more unorthodox methods than your basic training had provided you with. Still, no matter how stupid those ideas were, he always called them his ‘genius hacks.’
That time he had literally shot himself in the foot to create a distraction? Genius hack!
The time he threw Sam out of a window to get his wings working again? Genius hack!
So, Bucky accepting his idea was stupid meant this was bad.
This was so bad.
Your fingers press his name on your phone; normally you would chuckle at the picture of Bucky attached to his info, but not today.
It was past 8 am, by this time he could be on his way to another country. He could be hurt. He could be dead.
A ring, and then five more, and no response.
“My god,” you say, jumping out of your bed throwing on whatever clothes you find laying around.
You’re a mess, a complete and total mess, and it only gets worse after every time Bucky doesn’t answer your call.
You: Bucky I swear if you’re dead ill find some way to kill you again! And if you’re not… pick up THE PHONE!!!!!
You had a soft spot for him; everyone was aware. Something in you both just seemed to click, but that did not mean you wouldn’t let him have it when he did something reckless.
He would simply lay on the charm in response, using those stupid big blue eyes of his to melt away your frustration.
“You’re cute when you get all worked up,” he’d say, a smile on his lips that made your heart beat just a little bit faster. The jerk knew very well how to get his way.
He was an idiot, but one that you couldn’t help but be drawn to.
But not right now. Oh no. Right now, he was just the biggest idiot on the planet for disappearing like this.
You call again, crossing your fingers he would pick up, but no luck.
“He better be dead,” you find yourself saying while you rummage through the bag you had thrown on your couch after getting home late last night to find your house keys.
“I don’t think you mean that,” a very much alive Bucky says as you open the door to your apartment.
“You think this is funny?” you ask, letting him hear every bit of the worry that was consuming you only seconds ago.
“Just a little,” he replies, scrunching his nose, something you’d typically find adorable. But not today. “Ok, ok, I’m sorry,” he amends, feeling your door closing right in front of his face, choosing to stuff his left arm to stop you from closing it all the way.  “I should’ve answered your calls, but in my defense, I was a little busy doing something else.”
“What? The stupid thing you needed advice on. You’re on your own if you did something to Sam’s wings.”
“I could tell you a bit more about what I did, darling, if you’d let me in.”
“Don’t even try the whole ‘darling’ thing right now Barnes,” you scold him, “because it won’t work. You can’t just disappear like that.”
“I know,” his voice is soft, and you hate him for it. “But I can explain everything I promise. And I was only ‘missing’ for like 4 hours, most of which you were asleep for, so come on, sweetheart, let me in.”
You pierce your eyes at the pet name, making him chuckle.
“I said sweetheart, not darling,” he winks.
“It better be good, Barnes,” you reply with a groan, opening the door up for him all the way.
With a smile, he walks into your apartment, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t take him walking past you as an opportunity to scan him for injuries.
Your eyes rake past his back, down to his legs, looking for any sign of pain. Just looking out for anything you might need to patch up or any limping, of course, nothing more. But its harder to tell if he’s got any blood on him or anything else you should worry about.
He’s wearing a black t-shirt, dark jacket, and black denim jeans. If there’s anything on them, you can’t tell in his all-black outfit.  
“I shouldn’t have called what I was thinking about stupid, really,” he began, causing your gaze to come back up to his face as he turns to look at you. “Because it’s not.”
“Another one of your genius hacks, huh,” you cross your arms wondering why you had even let yourself get so worked up from two little texts.
The answer was rather obvious, but still, it was better not to address it at the moment. It was better not to mess with a friendship that somehow managed to work despite both of your reckless attitudes.
“Not really,” he says, sitting down on the couch, hugging one of your throw pillows, a big fluffy white one. He would regret that later when he discovered how much it shed onto his dark jacket. But you’d take that as a tiny victory over him after the scare he gave you. “Had nothing to do with the job at all.”
“Then do enlighten me, Barnes,” you give him an eye roll, not ready to hear about whatever mess he had gotten himself into.
“Just call me Bucky, doll,” he says with a tiny pout, his eyes going wide- those stupid big blue eyes. “It means your mad at me when you call me Barnes, and if I’m honest, I don’t like the feeling.”
“I kinda am.”
“More relieved than mad, though, right? Cause I’m still alive.”
“Won’t be alive for much longer if you don’t talk.”
“Fine,” he laughs, and you curse yourself for finding it endearing, but it’s always lovely to hear him laugh. “It’s not something stupid, might be the smartest decision I’ve made in my life.”
“Oh my god,” you say in disbelief throwing another one of your pillows at him. “You jerk! What did you do to Sam?!”
“I didn’t do anything to him,” he says in between more laughs as he dodges everything you throw his way. “You need to stop that.”
In an instant, he’s up and has you backed up onto the door, hands pressed against your side.
“Sam is fine,” he says softly, now that he’s so close to you. “Probably still drooling.”
“Then what’d you do?”
“Well, I haven’t done it yet. That’s why I came here for.”
There was something new in his eyes. It was as if a new shade of blue swam in them, a shade that had never been seen before.
What on earth was he doing?
“You can let go of my hands now, Buck,” you say, trying your best to distract yourself from how close he was.
“Won't throw more pillows at me?”
“I ran out.”
“Breaks my heart that’s the only reason you won't throw them at me,” he chuckles, releasing his hold on your hands, partially, because for some reason he chooses to lace his fingers with yours.
And something in you screams because this may or may not be a dream you had a few nights ago- a dream you had pushed deep down, hoping it would never come back up again. And yet here it was.
“What’d you do?” you ask him again, hoping speaking through what you were feeling would be better than being drowned by it.
“I bought something,” he replies, his signature boyish grin on his lips but this time there’s something new; a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks. “For you.”
“Really?” you pretend that those words did not just travel to your core and erupted into thousands of butterflies.
“See, it wasn’t stupid, really. It was a mistake to call it that, but I did need some advice because I’m not the best at this whole thing.”
“What thing?” you question, not missing how comfortable his hands feel around yours; how meant to be.
“Us.”
And there it was, the moment that had only been real in daydreams, the moment you absolutely knew would melt your heart.
“I bought you flowers,” he continues, letting his thumb drag slowly across the back of your hand. “They’re outside. I kinda panicked when you opened the door.”
“Flowers,” you hear yourself say, disbelief clear.
“I ran across the entire city, finding a place that opened early enough for me to get them as soon as possible. I ran into a shop owner around 6:30, she was only there that early to drop a few things, but I begged her to let me get something, anything. She must’ve felt bad because she let me inside.”
“You’ve been looking for flowers since 4 am?”
“I guess that part was stupid,” he laughs. “But I couldn’t wait! And I really started looking for places at 5.” There’s a tiny pause, and his face goes completely blank. “You like flowers, right?”
It’s really hard not to reach out and bring him closer when he’s looking like a lost little puppy, but you hold yourself back, enjoying the way his eyes have gone soft.
“I do,” you confirm, melting at the way his smile shines like a million stars.
Goodness, he was cute.
“And me? Do you like me?”
“Sometimes,” you fib, giggling when he pouts.
“Cause I like you a lot.”
Were you ever really mad at him, you wonder, because who on earth could ever be mad at the man in front of you? With those big blue beautiful eyes, that charming smile, and that soft touch.
“You do?” you tease, voice low and silky as you feel him getting closer and closer to you.
“So much, darling. There isn't anyone else who I like as much as you, to be honest. You’re the only one that makes me want to buy flowers at 5 am,” he presses a kiss to your forehead. “Nobody else I’d rather hold hands with,” a kiss to your cheek. “Nobody else I’d rather spend time with. I’m entirely yours, what can I say?”
And then it happens, his soft lips finally press onto yours, slowly parting them to deepen the kiss. His hands leave yours only to wrap his arms around your waist, and it’s as if you’ve done this before. Your hands find themselves running up along his arms to his shoulders, finally getting lost in his hair, following a trail that you somehow already know.
“Be my best girl?” he asks in a husky voice, eyes opening slowly, and your lips long to be on his again.
“Yes,” you say in a hushed tone, just for him.
He loosens his hold on you, and the look on his face is any indicator it pains him just as much as it hurts you.
“I should get your flowers,” he says, timidly looking behind you at the door. “I think I chose well.”
He steps outside only to come back a few seconds, no longer as proud of his choice as he had been.
The roses in his hands are barely holding it together, with only a few of the stems still holding up flowers. Those that still remain are all missing most of their petals.  
“I thought they looked better,” he confesses, frowning when he looks at the bouquet again. “Guess they took a little beating while I worked up the courage to come here.”
“They’re perfect,” you say, taking them from his hands and bringing them close to your chest.
And they were. They were from him, from the man who had just confessed his feelings for you. The man that drove you equally crazy with worry and with love.
He was yours, and you were his.
That’s all that mattered.
The stupid things you both got yourself into were more fun together anyway.
“I love them,” you laugh. “They’re perfect.”
The morning had started with panic, but this right here, that peace you felt when he held you close, that was worth it all.
----
Bucky Tags :D (you guys are awesome!!)
@camillechan @just-add-butter @buckyisthepuresthuman @carry-on-my-fandom @creideamhgradochas @sixweekcure4dreams @verycoolveryunique @dugan365 @jitterbuck @buckysmusculararm @headinthe-fridge @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @hedwigthelegend @sappybarnes @coal000 @the-whitewolfie @natcad @winters-beauty @dixonsbugaboo @sawdustandsugar @silverbvcky @killjoynotes @agentpegcxrter @demonspawn2468 @buckysbeech @thefridgeismybestie @pinkfairyfluff @imaginecrushes @cauraphernelia @angieptt @fridolf-arach @nerdgirljen @bucky-is-a-hero-fightme @consttantina @titty-teetee @bfuckjames @crowleysqueenofhell @sebtrashcan-stan @jaamesbbarnes @heartssick @losemymemory @redstarstan @dracris33 @fuckthatfeeling @tamed-chaos @bringmetowonderland @mlehbleh @mawimey @delicatelyherdreams @buckyswinterchildren @jaysaku @stanclub @your-pixels-are-showing @thisismysecrethappyplace @who-the-heck-knows @polaroid-idiocity @plumsforbuckxx  @friendly-neighborhood-lich-queen @bambamwolf87 @ohhhotstan @ohhhotstan @whileinparis @sebbysstangirl @trashpanda-barnes @buckybarneshairpullingkink @lokilvrr @freyjawalker @sebbybarrnes @palaiasaurus64 @piensa-bonito @until-theend-oftheline @awkwardfangirl2014 @mywinterwolf @all1e23 @teamcap4bucky @wintersxsoul @prettyyoungtragedy @suz-123 @buckyofthemyscira @kentuckybarnes @tropicalcap @moonbeambucky @gamorazenn @sgtjbuccky @darlingholland @desibarnes @aryastarss @driftingtonystark @everythingbooknerd @unlikelygalaxygiver @nec-me-ire @hello-lucifer-here @sold-my-soul-in-2016 @whyugottabesorude @theoutlinez @books-movies-eternal @lionheo04 
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hd-learns-korean · 4 years ago
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Musical Monday’s Week 6: Blooming Days by EXO - CBX
Hey all and a  happy Monday! Today I’m back with another musical Monday post. Oh my goodness is it week 6 already! 
The song this week is a request and I think it’s great choice! I like EXO and I’ve heard a few of their songs but I haven’t listened to this one before. I’m glad I got the chance to listen to it though as it’s a great song and I got to learn so much new vocabulary! 🤩😄
Song: Blooming days by EXO-CBX
Genre: K-poptastic!
My thoughts on the song: I’m still humming the tune to this song as I’m writing this post. Very catchy! Very upbeat. Everything you could ask for from a K-pop song. 
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Disclaimer - I do use examples from Naver because I wanna make sure that the examples are correct. However I will use my own examples to practice writing Korean. Also for my own examples where I can’t fully translate, because I don’t know the full grammar structure I use Papago to help translate my English sentence into Korean. Please let me know if you spot any mistakes. All the examples that are not my own I will label/ explain where I found them from! 
Let’s get this study train going HOOT HOOT! 🥳
VERBS:
👈👉담아내다 1. serve 2.) show/ express
Naver Examples: 
수북이 담아내다 pack up in a heap
진실을 담아내다 to capture the truth
🙅‍♀️🙅‍♂️싫다 – To hate, to dislike 2.) unpleasant, disagreeable, distasteful
🎁Present tense:  싫어, 싫어요, 싫습니다
⏰Past tense: 싫었어, 싫었어요, 싫었습니다
🔮Future tense: 싫을 거��, 싫을 거예요, 싫을 겁니다
Naver Examples:
이런 말 하기는 싫지만 I hate to say this/ tell you this but…
너는 보기 싫다 I don’t want to see you (Nuance:you make me sick! )
일하기가 싫다. I don’t want to work.
My examples -  저는 버섯이 싫어요! I hate mushrooms!
🙅‍♀️🙅‍♂️않다 be not/ do not
Naver Example:
그것은 좋지도 나쁘지도 않다 It is neither good nor bad
😴지치다 1.) to become tired/ to become exhausted 2.) to become weary/ bored of
🎁Present tense: 지쳐, 지쳐요, 지칩니다
⏰Past tense: 지쳤어, 지쳤어요, 지쳤습니다
🔮Future tense: 지칠 거야, 지칠 거예요, 지칠 겁니다
Naver Examples:
나는 완전히 지쳤다 I’m warn out/ I’m completely exhausted
눈에 띄게 지치다 visibly tired
약간 지치다 a bit tired
육체적으로 지치다 physically tired
정신적으로 지치다 mentally tired
🌱움트다 Sprout/ bud/ shoot
🎁Present tense: 움터, 움터요, 움틉니다
⏰Past tense: 움텄어, 움텄어요, 움텄습니다
🔮Future tense: 움틀 거야, 움틀 거예여, 움틀 겁니다
Naver Example:
작약이 움트기 시작하였다 The peony started to sprout.
🤏작다 1.) small/tiny/ short
🎁Present tense: 작아, 작아요, 작습니다
⏰Past tense: 작았어, 작았어요, 잣았습니다
🔮Future tense: 작을 거야, 작을 거예요, 작을 겁니다
Naver Examples:
작은 인물 A small-minded person
작은 목소리 a low voice
키가 작은 사람 a short person
담이 작다 be cowardly
👀보다 1.)See/ look/ watch 2.) think/ judge 3.) agree on/settle on 4.) taste/ examine 5.) manage/ attend to  6.) get 7.) urinate/ excrete
🎁Present tense: 봐, 봐요, 봅니다
⏰Past tense: 봤어, 봤어요, 봤습니다
🔮Future tense: 볼 거야, 볼 거예요, 볼 겁니다
Naver Examples:
보기 좋다 be good looking/ be attractive
어디 한번 봅시다 Let’s take a look
앞을 봐라! Look forward!
너 그렇게 안 봤는데 I didn't think you were like that.
사람 볼 줄 아시네요 you are a good judge of character.
봐라, 내가 뭐랬냐? See, what did I tell you
보기 좋게 당하셨군요 serves you right/ you got what you deserved
책을 보다 look through a book
맛을 보다 taste the food
사무를 보다 attend to business
아이를 보다 baby sit
집을 보다 look after the house
손자를 보다 get a grandchild
소변을 보다 urinate/ pass water
🙅‍♀️🙅‍♂️😴🤏모자라다 1.) to be insufficient, to be short of 2.) dull, stupid, slow- witted
🎁Present tense: 모자라, 모자라요, 모자랍니다
⏰Past tense: 모자랐어, 모자랐어요, 모자랐습니다
🔮Future tense: 모자랄 거야, 모자랄 거예요, 모자랄 겁니다
Naver Examples: 
돈이 약간 모자라요 I’m slightly short of money
시간이 모자라요 I’m running out of time.
잠이 모자라서 늘 피곤해요 I’m always tired from lack of sleep
역량이 모자라다 be incapable of
실력이 모자라다 Lack ability
🚛🗑버리다 1.) throw away 2.) abandon/leave/forsake/give up
🎁Present tense: 버려, 버려요, 버립니다
⏰Past tense: 버렸어, 버렸어요, 버렸습니다
🔮Future tense: 버릴 거야, 버릴 거예요, 버릴 겁니다
Naver Examples:
쓰레기를 버리다 throw away garbage
희망을 버리지 마라 don’t give up hope
악습을 버리다 renounce bad habits
🤝닿다 to touch/ to reach
Naver Examples:
정말 가슴에 와 닿는 강의였다 The lecture truly touched my heart.
무사히 닿다 arrive in safety
🌺🌻🌼피어나다 To bloom
🙅‍♂️🙅‍♀️못하다 1.)to be bad at/ poor at 2.) be not
Naver Examples:
저는 노래를 못해요 I’m a terrible singer
나는 술을 잘 못한다 I’m not much of a drinker
물이 맑지 못하다 The water is not clear.
🤞🤞원하다 to want/ to wish
🎁Present tense: 원해 원해요, 원합니다
⏰Past tense: 원했어, 원했어요, 원했습니다
🔮Future tense: 원할 거야, 원핼 거예요, 원할 겁니다
Naver Examples:
그녀가 원하는 대로 해 주세요 do as she wishes
생일 선물로 뭘 원하세요? What do you want for your birthday?
모든 사람은 행복과 건강을 원한다 All people desire happiness and health.
🎁주다 give/ present
🎁Present tense: 줘, 줘요, 줍니다
⏰Past tense: 줬어, 줬어요, 줬습니다
🔮Future tense: 줄 거야, 줄 거예요, 줄 겁니다 
Naver Examples:
좀 싸게 주세요 can’t you give me a better price? (deal)
힌트 좀 주세요 give me a hint (clue)
겁을 주다 frighten
도움을 주다 support
마음을 주다 trust/ confide in
🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️❓대답하다 answer/ reply/ response
🎁Present tense: 대답해, 대답해요, 대답합니다
⏰Past tense: 대답했어, 대답했어요, 대답했습니다
🔮Future tense: 대답할 거야, 대답할 거예요, 대답할 겁니다
Naver Examples:
확실한 대답을 듣고 싶다 I want a definite (solid) answer
간결한 대답 brief answer
솔직한 대답 straight/ candid answer
즉각적인 대답 immediate answer
🧐👩‍💻👩‍🔧👨‍🏫풀어내다 1.) To unravel, disentangle 2.) To solve/ work out
Naver Examples:
방정식을 풀어내다 to solve an equation
실을 풀어내다 untie thread
문제를 풀어내다 solve a problem
적대감을 풀어내다 dispel hostility
🔄바꾸다 1.) change, switch
🎁Present tense: 바꿔, 바꿔요, 바꿉니다
⏰Past tense: 바꿨어, 바꿨어요, 바꿨습니다
🔮Future tense: 바꿀 거야, 바꿀 거예요, 바꿀 겁니다
Naver Examples:
계획을 바꾸다 change one’s plans
방향을 바꾸다 change one’s direction
👉👀⏰아득하다 to be far, distant, far away, distant past
Naver Examples:
아득히 먼 옛날에 a very long (time) ago
아득한 옛날 dim past
💃아름답다 – To be beautiful, gorgeous, lovely
Examples found from Naver:
꽃이 정말 아름답네요! What beautiful flowers
아름다운 목소리 a beautiful voice
아름답게 charmingly
마음씨가 아름답다 be kindhearted
⛔❌막히다 be blocked, clogged, stopped
Examples found from Naver:
기가 막혀서 말이 안 나온다 I’m completely speechless (It’s simply too ridiculous for words)
감기에 걸려 코가 막힌다 I have a cold, and my nose is stuffed up.
길이 막히다 a road is blocked.
Nouns 
중 -  1.) Center/ middle 2.) medium/ average 3.) During 4.) under/ among
Grammar – It is a noun that can be used for:
1.) identifying something out of many things
2.) Refer to a state of time when oneself is doing something
3.) Refer to a state that oneself is in
Naver Examples: 
여행 중에 on one’s journey
공사 중이다 be under construction
이 중에서 out of these
위인 중 in the midst of greatness
회의 중 during a meeting
학기 중 during the semester
My example -  나는 시험 도중에 잠이 들었다. I fell asleep during the exam.
😃표정 expression/ look/ face
Naver Examples:
표정이 밝다 Look bright (happy)
짓궂은 표정을 짓다 make a mischievous face
표정이 있는 expressive/ full of expression
표정이 없는 expressionless
무표정한 얼굴 deadpan
🙅‍♀️🙅‍♂️끝 1.) End/ finish 2.) tip/ point/ the nib of a pen
Naver Examples:
처음부터 끝까지 from start to finish
끝까지 반대하다 oppose all the way
의자 끝에 걸터앉다 sit on the edge of the chair
끝의 final
끝이 가는 tapering
코끝 the tip of a nose
🌅🌇하루 a day/ one day
Naver Example:
하루는 24시간이다 there are 24hours in a day
🤔🤓생각 1.) thought/ think 2.) remember/ remembrance/  call to one’s mind
Naver Example:
생각에 잠기다 be lost in deep thought
생각 잘했어요 good thinking
My examples - 저는 생각 맞았어요. I though I was right (I was right)
저는 생각 그 드레스가 진짜 예쁘다! I think that dress is really pretty!
그는 몇 주 동안 그 문제에 대해 생각했다. He thought about the problem for weeks.
🔄🌇매일 daily, everyday, each day
Naver Examples:
매일 비가 내렸다 It rained day after day.
매일 밤 night after night
🥰❤감정 feelings, emotions, sentiment
Naver Examples:
감정을 숨기지 못하다 cannot hide one’s feelings/ wear your heart on your sleeve
감정에 치우치다 become emotional/ sentimental
개인적인 감정 Personal feelings
복잡한 감정 mixed feelings
우호적인 감정 positive (warm) feelings
적대적인 감정 hostile feelings
🔄⏰🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️어느새 In no time, so soon, quickly
Naver Examples:
비가 어느새 그쳤다 the rain stopped before we knew it
어느새 다 자라다 grow up before you know it
어느새 세월이 흐르다 Time flies before one knows it
🚤🏕🏞🛤깊숙이 1.) deep, far 2.) seriously
Naver Examples:
장 속에 깊숙이 넣다 put deep into a chest
모자를 깊숙이 눌러쓰 jam one’s hat on (I dunno why but this example made me laugh so much...lockdown life  has evidently gotten to me! 😂)
깊숙이 빠지다 fall deep
🧘‍♀️🧘‍♂️🤸‍♀️🏋️‍♂️몸 1.)Body/build/frame 2.) health
Naver Examples:
몸에 좋다 be wholesome/ be healthful/ be beneficial for one’s health
강건한 몸 A powerful/ strong body
탄탄한[근육질의] 몸 a firm (muscular) body
몸에 꼭 끼는 바지 skin tight trousers
몸이 뚱뚱한 stout
몸을 단련하다 work out
몸을 가리다 cover oneself/ clothe oneself
내 몸 myself
몸을 던지다 engage in
몸에 배다 feel at home with
⏰순간 Moment/ instant
Naver Examples:
중요한 순간 critical/ crucial moment
바로 그 순간 exact/ precise moment
🖐손 hand
Naver Examples:
손을 씻다 wash one’s hands
이 손 놔요! Let go of my hand!
내 the inside
Naver Examples:
건물 내 the inside of a building
한 시간 내로 끝날 겁니다 It'll be done within an hour.
🌎세상 The world/ society
Naver Examples:
세상을 놀라게 하다 Astonish the world
세상 참 좁네요 it’s a small world/ what a small world!
세상을 있는 그대로 받아들이다 take the world as it is
🔄전부 all
Naver Examples:
전부 합쳐서 얼마예요? How much in total (all)?
그의 말은 전부 거짓말이다 Everything he says is a lie.
전부의 entire/ complete/ every
🥧🌻🌼🌺향기 scent/ fragrance/ perfume/ aroma
Naver Examples:
짙은 향기 a strong scent
은은한 향기 delicate/ subtle fragrance
꽃향기 the scent of a flower
고소한 향기 a spicy fragrance
⛈🌧🌨흠뻑 1.)sopping/ soaked/ to the skin 2.) fully/ sufficiently
Naver Examples:
비가 대지를 흠뻑 적셨다 the rain saturated the soil
흠뻑 젖은 옷 dripping clothes
흠뻑 취하다 get drunk to the skin (get very drunk/ wasted)
배 twice/ double/ two fold/ times/ fold
Naver Examples:
배의 double/ two times
3배 three times/ three fold
이제 now
Naver Examples:
이제부터 from now
이제 그만! Stop! Enough!
오늘 today
Naver Examples:
오늘의 날씨를 전해 드리겠습니다 Here's today's (weather) forecast.
🥰기분 feelings/ mood
Naver Examples:
기분이 좋다 feeling good/ well
지금 농담할 기분이 아니다 I’m in no mood for jokes now
오늘은 기분이 좀 어떠세요? How do you feel today?
기분 최고다 I feel awesome/ terrific
기분이 별로 좋지 않다 I’m in a bad mood
기분 더럽다 (Slang) I feel like crap.
이상한 기분이 들다 feel strange
일상 Everyday life
Naver Example:
일상의 everyday/ daily
⏰늘 always/ all the time
Naver Examples:
그는 늘 지각한다 he’s always late
늘 먹는 걸로 주세요 I’ll have the usual
🎨색깔 colour
Naver Examples:
색깔이 흐리다 the colour is cloudy
옅은 색깔 pale/ light colours
😃😄황홀 ecstasy, wonderful, blissful, rapture
Naver Example:
황홀하여 enchanted
황홀하게 하다 charm, fascinate, hold a person spellbound
😮🥵🥴😵반응 response, reaction
Naver Example:
그의 반응은 아주 뜻밖이었다 his reaction was quite unexpected
거세게 반응하다 react strongly
긍정적으로 반응하다 react positively
부정적으로 반응하다 react negatively
빨리 반응하다 react quickly
침착하게 반응하다 react calmly
감정적 반응 emotional reaction
😂🥳장난 joke, fun
Naver Example:
장난 삼아 해 본 소리야 it was just a joke
There we go study list complete! I hope it’s been useful and not too boring! (I know I included a lot of examples so apologies if it took forever to read!) 
This song has been fun to study with as I found a ton of new vocabularies to study and the song is super upbeat. Now if you don’t mind me, I’m off to go play this song again and dance like I’m the star in a music video! 💃
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Happy studying everyone! x 
Note: gifs are not my own creation, all credit should go to the original creator. I just searched for them on tumblr. 
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